Better late than never!

Don't think just _______ (insert goal here)

2012-01-06T16:01:00.039-07:00

The biggest priority in mapping out my New Year Goals was to make sure they're manageable, realistic and not going to be some distant memory come February 1. I tend to dream big but I also suffer from analysis paralysis. If I get overwhelmed, I tend to freeze up and jump ship. Not this time. Baby steps.

Jessi's Goals to Get It Done in 2012

Dance

A couple things here... One, continue to reclaim my desire and passion to dance (see previous posts for background info on this one). I have a feeling that this will be expedited by simply by getting myself into a studio and/or class. Two, return to my roots. Once upon a time I was swingin', hip hoppin', African dancin', Capoeira-in'... My roots are calling me back.

Health/Fitness

My fitness is obviously intertwined with my dancing, so that's a given. Other little health things to make priority: remember to take my daily vitamins and supplements; up my daily fruit and veggie intake; be more creative with my meals-on-the-go and snacks, for both variety and nutrition. Allow myself ME-time sans guilt.

Work

Write more... and get paid for it. I've decided this is the year I will finally begin freelance writing. My blog is included in this. This week I've approached my blog like a job, adding it to to-do lists, brainstorming future post ideas and making it a priority. It's amazing what a difference it's already made.

** Those of you who earn $$ from your blog, do you mind shooting me a quick email with tips, suggestions, resources, anything that might help me get started, as I'm clueless... Thanks!! mamalonglegs78 at gmail dot com.

Begin my freelance choreography career here in li'l Fort Collins, CO... because every big name or star starts somewhere. And not that I intend or hope to be a star, I just want to earn a living doing what I love.

Community

I wasn't sure how else to categorize this one, but it runs the gamut: writing and sending thank-you notes, birthday cards, just because notes, via good old fashioned snail mail; actually picking up the phone and calling someone, instead of copping out via social media; weeding out pseudo-friends to make time for the real ones.

Finances

This one is BIG and the most important. This is the year I begin to knock out my debt with ninja fury. This daunting task will take me beyond 2012, but I have to begin. My finances are a hot mess and they have kept me bound and hopeless for too long. Oh yes, it is going to be so very hard and full of sacrifice and the word "NO", but so very worth it.

* * * * *

There you have it. So let's do this together, y'all. Let's encourage and support each other in our respective goals, giving each other some tough love when necessary. Because any lasting, significant change is never easy or convenient. As I say, DON'T THINK JUST DANCE. Substitute "dance" with whatever it is you are striving for. Believe me, it works. When I'm in an audition or about to go onstage and my nerves are threatening to make it all unravel, I say this to myself. When I stop [over]thinking and just DO it, the results are pretty spectacular.

DO IT!

xoxo

2012, the first days...

2012-01-03T12:30:00.028-07:00

Happy New Year!!

Like many, I love the spirit of the new year, the feeling of a clean slate promising new beginnings, new opportunities, renewed goals...

Of course, several goals and challenges for myself are swirling around my head, yet to be put down on paper. That makes them more official, of course. I don't like to call them "resolutions". With the bad rap resolutions get, "goals" seem more organic and open to revision later in the year, yes? Silly semantics, I know, but it works for me, so go with what works, right?

But before I get to that, let's see what my first few days of 2012 involved...

Day 1
My first ever live Bronco game!! I know, I know... I'm well aware of our shortcomings this year - and why, HOW did we make it to the playoffs, just to be massacred by the Steelers next Sunday?? Oy... But I stick by my boys because I am a TRUE fan, none of this mamby-pamby, wishy-washy, I'm-going-to-bail-and-pick-a-team-that's-winning-this-season BS that some people I know have done. Two words on that: lame. sauce.

Anywho, some pics...

Us true Bronco fans still call it what it should be called, Mile High Stadium

Sorry for the sun glare - but look how close we were! Eighteen rows up!

At least the sunset was pretty... prettier than how our offense played (summer training camp, eh boys??)

Day 2
Boyfriend's birthday celebration! Can you believe that he's never had a birthday party?!? Yes, true story. Apparently birthdays are not important in his family from what he tells me. Case in point: he spoke with his mother and sister via Oovoo yesterday and they didn't remember it was his birthday until he reminded them. Total sacrilege in my world, omg. So I took it upon myself to throw him his first ever birthday party, which I made a surprise party, of course. He had no clue and was 100% surprised. I win!

I only snapped a few pics as I was running around playing hostess...

A simple but delish spread

He looks as if he's deciding if my funfetti cupcakes are safe to eat, lol!

Day 3
Today has just been back to business, with working, returning to teaching my beloved cardio kickboxing classes and a li'l blogging. The latter takes care of one of my goals: giving my little corner of the blogosphere some serious TLC. My 2011 blogging record isn't the most stellar. Let's see how 2012 goes.

Any exciting adventures for your first days of 2012?

xoxo
J

Forgive and forget ain't so easy

2011-12-30T16:53:00.042-07:00

Throwing around the "forgive and forget" cliche makes the act of doing so sound as simple as wash, rinse, repeat. On the contrary, friends.

Oh sure, we can delude ourselves into thinking that forgetting about something that someone did that cuts into our hearts is just a matter of thinking about it, and boom, it's done. Maybe in some cases, in cases involving simple offenses that don't injure beyond a superficial scratch. But when harboring anger at an offense from months ago, a gash that is deep and throbbing, genuine forgiveness is more an act of daily exorcism.

Harboring bitterness, resentment and rage is so very toxic. Often we mistakenly believe that holding on to that anger will hurt the perpetrator in return for the pain they caused us. Oh, how deceiving that is. In all reality, we hurt - prolong the hurt - no one but ourselves.

It's hard to forgive. It is painful and tiring. It is a daily process until every last poisonous tendril is uprooted and healing can begin.

I did not realize until yesterday during a conversation with a very wise friend that I am very angry indeed. I've been harboring it for a couple of months. In doing so, I allowed it to grow, to fester, to permeate areas in my life that it did not initially reside. It's a tricky little thing, anger... entangles itself like a relentless vine, twisting and tangling over, around and through everything it touches. It makes sense, too, now that I think about it. I've been indifferent to things that normally snap my attention right up. Creativity and inspiration have been elusive, sporadic at best or simply resulting from necessity. I've avoided people to avoid addressing any heart matters or having to honestly answer "how are you?" inquiries (for I am a terrible liar). Oh, I've pretended to be tough, to be the stoic ninja that is incapable of weakness, and for awhile there I had quite a convincing act.

Ironically though, my behavior and attitudes toward things perplexed even me. I could not understand why I was completely indifferent to how my choreography project ended up last semester. Or why I cared less about how I performed in my modern dance final exam? Why was I counting the remaining months, weeks and days in the semester until it was over and I could get away from that place? Why now, knowing I should in the very least be doing barre exercises in my kitchen to maintain some level of dance conditioning over the break, can I not even bring myself to consider dancing without feelings of dread bubbling up? And most of all, where the heck did the sassy, doesn't-accept-defeat-without-a-good-fight ninja go??

Well duh.

The fact that I don't even want to dance kills me. And that angers me the most.

Sharing all of this with my friend, combined with his legit two cents on how to reclaim me, immediately lifted some weight and I feel lighter. And the instincts to fight and show 'em what's up started to resurface.... they're faint, but they're there.

I want my dance mojo back, dammit. And I'm going to get it.

Someone pleeeeeease buy me this tee...

xoxo
J

{Images via We Heart It}

I found Christmas spirit.... or did it find me?

2011-12-26T22:32:00.032-07:00

The gingerbread men and peanut brittle didn't happen. No cards were sent out, electronic or otherwise. I didn't even get around to putting up my mini tree with it's fake mini presents that sit underneath... but Christmas was lovely. Any harbored anxiety that yet another bittersweet holiday would be my Christmas were dissipated by genuine laughter and good cheer amongst my family. Might I even say, the Christmas spirit that I longed for?

On Christmas Eve, Boyfriend and I, along with my brothers, sis-in-law and nephew, gathered at my Dad's for Christmas Part 1. Dad and his girlfriend made us turkey dinner, at my special request (I don't dig the Christmas ham thing), complete with my grandma's Christmas bread pudding with whiskey caramel sauce. That business is gooooood. And of course gifts, complete with the little liquor filled chocolates my dad gives us every year. Boyfriend got some, too.

Speaking of Boyfriend, this was his first Christmas! He's from Iran, so Christmas is not really celebrated in the predominantly Muslim country. Between the delish grub, the sweet art set my dad and his lady gave him and the comedy provided by my brothers, his thought was "I love Christmas!" Haha, oh Boyfriend...

Once adequately stuffed with turkey and bread pudding, it was off to my other grandma's house to meet up with Mom and her side of the fam for Christmas Part 2. More food, more vino, more gifts and much more laughter. It's amazing my abs were not sore yesterday.

On the brink of food coma, we trekked back home and collapsed. Christmas Day was quiet, just Boyfriend and I. We began the day with a nursing home visit with some of our church crew to bring the old folks gifts and Christmas cheer. Then we brunched at the dive diner my grandpa (the bread pudding grandma's sidekick) used to frequent when he was still alive. Totally unglamorous but special - I know Grandpa was there. Later that night, dinner was sushi and Chinese at one of the best Asian bistros in town.

It was a very merry Christmas.

xoxo
J

She's crafty

2011-12-15T17:50:00.013-07:00

Or at least I want to be. I used to be all kinds of crafty when I was younger... I made throw pillows and cross-stitched little ornaments for my family as gifts. I made play sets out of random household items for my dolls and stuffed toys... Anyone play with Mapletown toys? I made them furniture out of things like empty thread spools and fabric scraps. Yes, yes, y'all, I was quite the cool kid.

Last weekend Boyfriend helped me drag my grandma's sewing machine up from my basement... it has been sitting down there for several years, following 10-15 years of collecting dust in hers. Sad, I know. It's a Kenmore from the late 1970s, I think (I'll have to ask my mom to be sure), and its nice and sturdy. Boyfriend cleaned and oiled it, getting it running again - well, he did break the needle in the process, but other than that, I'm golden.

Love the retro flair of this li'l work space

Honestly, though, I'm glad for the delay because I'm so intimidated by this! I asked for basic sewing stuff last Christmas, thinking that would be the impetus to get back into it, but all of it just sat in the basement alongside the machine. In classic Jessi fashion, I don't know where to start. I suffer from analysis paralysis. Where do I buy a replacement needle for the machine? How do I know what kind to get? I don't know what half the dials and switches on the machine mean and I'm sure the user's manual is long gone. I'm not even sure if I remember how to use this thing... Should I take a class? Surf YouTube for how-to videos? Wander around a fabric store until a store clerk takes pity on me and asks if I need help? I know that this will probably be a learn-by-doing situation and I just need to start with something... but I still get hung up by all the details and the anxiety of not knowing how to do it all. right. now.

Oooh, what delish organization, me oh my....

I stalk all of the DIY-ers across the interwebs, such as the amazing Maegan, wishing I was as talented and just knew how to make cool stuff. I dream of making things from hair accessories to shopping bags to {more} throw pillows to aprons to cosmetic bags to dance shoe bags to full out dance costumes. I think a DIY-er lives inside me, too, but she doesn't know how to find her way back to the surface. Maaaaybe I should stop being a spaz, take the first step and just make one of the projects I admire, yes??

And baby step numero uno should probably be replacing the sewing machine needle. Then get on the ball with some easy projects for my family's Christmas gifts... 'cause t-minus 10 days 'til the big day!

Any tips? Suggestions? Tough love, stop-being-a-spaz comments?

{Images via We Heart It}

xoxo
J

My favorite are the lights

2011-12-14T18:20:00.017-07:00

The crazy, emotional breakdown-inducing semester has officially come to an end. A big thanks to those who left encouraging words in response to my previous post... I took to heart each one and am still pondering what's next. Further thoughts to come. In the meantime, it's time for Christmas!

I'm anxious to put up my decorations, start making gifts and begin some serious cookie and candy operations. Christmas for the past six or so years has been lacking in the spirit that I remember as a kid, and I really miss it. This is mainly due to a split family and the corresponding drama. Sure, sure, the magic you feel as a kid from believing in Santa and the insomnia-inducing excitement you experience waiting for Christmas morning is something that remains in childhood... but I think there are adult versions of Christmas magic and I'm on a mission to find it. (Wow, the cheese factor on that statement was off the charts, lol!) My family's sitch is what it is, and I know that all I really have control over is me and what I make of it, so this year I'm determined to reclaim some of the Christmas spirit that I've missed so much for too long.

{All images via We Heart It}

What are your Christmas plans??

xoxo
J

At a crossroads

2011-12-03T21:43:00.021-07:00

Since my last post, I've been thinking and pondering and mulling over this next one. Ideas have been swirling around my head like a big pot of word soup, but I've been so loathe to put it on the table. Afraid, almost. Why? I'm not sure I even know. Part of me wants to just forget about it and move on to happier things, fearful of being uber-negative and turning off the few readers that may have stuck around once my posting began to be few and far between. But the other part of me feels like that's one big fat cop-out. This is life right now, my reality... Unless it's on stage in some fun costume and makeup ensemble, being fake really isn't my thing.

In my last couple of posts, I've alluded to some tough times this semester. It's been a roller coaster ride that's left me exhausted and reeling and wanting to leave this amusement park asap.

To refresh: remember that I took last year off of school, to take care of some financial things that prevented me from continuing. That was hard, but I worked with it, finding ways to keep dancing despite having to work a 9-to-5 desk job (read: dancer buzz kill). I took care of what I needed to take care of, and this past August I got the green light to register for classes once again. I was so excited to get back to business, finish my final two semesters and get on with my dance career at last.

That sunny, happy, skip around like a giddy school girl place? A silly day dream.

Fast forward to this moment. I am deeply disappointed. I am questioning whether I should have returned, was it even worth it. I am angry and resentful. And I am struggling to find any inkling of inspiration that may be left. I have reached the point of apathy and that is very, very sad to me. Frankly, it breaks my heart and my eyes sting with tears as I write this.

{We Heart It}

It wasn't a single, profound event that crashed my dance party. It was more like a virus, sneaking in, getting comfortable and taking root long before it's presence was realized or felt. But when you finally do realize, you're weak and ill-equipped to fight with your full potential. The environment in the dance department has been toxic... yes, a strong word, but when I survey the damages around me, that's the best word I can come up with... and frankly, I blame the leadership. I feel very strongly that those in a position of educating others have a big responsibility not only to impart knowledge, but also to encourage and mentor their students to do and become their best, to prepare them for the very competitive working world out there. The performing arts is a hard, cutthroat field, y'all. And I'm very sad to report that my professors are falling short.

I have tried. I tried all semester to give benefit of the doubt, hope for better, have compassion, but dammit I'm tired. There is only so much giving without getting in return that one person can handle. The apathy I mentioned earlier? Yeah. I'm at the point where I don't even want to dance.

There, I said it. I've been holding that in, ashamed to admit how I feel. But it's the real deal for me right now. And that completely sucks.

I still have much thinking and seeking to do. This isn't the grand finale of dance for me, but it's definitely a crossroads and I have some decisions to make. A big priority is rediscovering inspiration that will nurse my dance mojo back to health, and then go from there...

Thanks for listening, y'all.

xoxo
J

Laundry, Avon and an ice cream cupcake

2011-11-21T16:27:00.023-07:00

Well, hello there!

Oh, it's been a doozy of a semester, which I will fill you in on at some point this week. My last, oh-so-happy post should give you an idea. But no whiney posts to begin the week... Thanksgiving Break has finally arrived and the Jessi we all know and love (read: happy) is returning!

I officially began the decompress process last Friday afternoon, the moment my last class ended. I shot out of there and haven't looked back. Oh sure, I should go to the studio and do some work to keep in condition, but I just can't yet. I'm trying to exorcise the bad juju that has accumulated over the last few months. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe.

In the meantime, I'm thoroughly enjoying hours of Food Network episodes, tackling the mountain of laundry that has been dominating my room, catching up on all of your lovely blogs, cleaning the house, actually preparing and eating real meals beyond tuna sandwiches and eggs and toast, reading, and the start of a Monopoly marathon with the bf.

This, my friends, is a little piece of heaven known as an ice cream cupcake. Yes, this happened last night.

I also spent time today on my Avon business, which has been sadly neglected - oh, and take a moment to like my new Avon FB page! I'm very happy I finally made it, took me long enough. I'm excited to get to the list of other things to help grow my business over the next few days as well. This includes figuring out all the nifty ways to maximize social media for my biz, as well as either creating a new Avon-focused blog, or doing some kind of regular Avon feature on this blog... haven't yet decided, stay tuned...

I realize I'm lucky in getting the entire week off (thanks CSU!), so many of you are not quite on holiday time yet... but regardless, what are your week's plans? Big shindigs or some quiet R&R??

Glad to be back, miss you all!

Happy Monday lovelies!

xoxo
J

Balance

2011-10-14T16:30:00.016-06:00

We Heart It

Earlier this week, I posted the above photo to my Facebook page, writing, "desperately trying to keep it together, but teetering on the edge of crazy"...

There is no balance in my life right now. I am exhausted on so many levels. I'm not enjoying much of anything, which is sad because I usually quite enjoy this time of the year. Summer is my favorite, but fall is a very close second. All things that make me love fall - yellowing and falling leaves, crisp air, scarves, sweaters, chai, soup, baking, cooking, apples, Halloween, haunted corn mazes, Sunday football - are either non-existent in my life or have no happy effect on me. I feel like the season is whizzing by and I'm missing it all.

I was so very excited to return to school and finish my degree. Yes, I am excited to get the degree and move into the working world of dance, I'm just not enjoying this last leg of the journey. I hate admitting that, I really do. This is supposed to be my love, my passion... I also hate admitting it because I was so excited to quit my 9-to-5 and get back to business with what I love.

I should qualify that statement... There are aspects of school and dancing that I am eating up and can't get enough of. I do enjoy being with my dance family full time again. I do love not sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day at a job that is just a job. I love (some of) the dancing itself. But there are other aspects that are causing me some serious resentment and anxiety. Almost everyday I have a pep talk with myself, telling myself to buck up and adjust my attitude. But it's a struggle.

Oh and the giving my car away and bike riding full time thing? Yowza, it's getting harder and harder. Biking after a long day of classes and rehearsals is so very hard, and the cooling weather is not helping. I want to be stronger and superhuman-like, pretending that all is okay, but damn I miss my little Honda.

I am le tired.

Sorry that my first post since July (!!) is quite a downer. These days I have to take it one day at a time so as not to repeat the melt down I had last weekend (it wasn't pretty). I'm so very thankful that I finally had nothing to do this afternoon, and I've been laying here on my bed for the last several hours, dorking around on the interwebs while munching on white cheddar flavored rice cakes.

One day at a time...

xoxo
J

Nike doesn't pay me... but I sure wish they did

2011-07-29T13:27:00.043-06:00

Best compliment I got this week: "Well, look at you, Biker Barbie! Even your bangs are peeking out oh-so-perfectly from under your helmet..." Two coworkers of mine commented on how cute and coordinated I looked, even while sporting a bike helmet and sporty duds. Seems silly, but it was perfect timing because I've been feeling less than cute lately. Dresses and heels just don't work very well on a bike (maybe a cruiser, but I zip around town on a mountain bike). I guess they had a point... I mean, my pink and white bike helmet, bright purple capris, Nike Eclipse kicks and hot pink backpack ensemble was pretty Barbie-esque. I can live with that :)

Nike. One of my fave brands by far. When I rock the Eclipse kicks, backpack with the big white swoosh and Nike tee all on the same day, its ridiculous. I'm a walking endorsement. I guess I'm a bit obsessed with the brand.

I may or may not have spent a ridiculous amount of time perusing the Nikestore site this morning, as well as You Tube stalking the Nike Women Channel (girl crush alert!). I do need new workout duds, especially since the amount of time I'm going to be teaching and dancing is going to increase exponentially here soon. And the You Tube stalking was work research... I'm looking for new exercises for the strength section of my Cardio Kickboxing & Strength class :)

Perfect for the studio this fall, no?? (minus the shoes, of course)

Role models

The girl in the white hoodie? That's Sofia Boutella. She's a bad ass. Ballet dancer turned b-girl... homegirl is legit. Her passion and fire and drive - and muscles! - are a total inspiration. I love, love, love this Nike ad from 2006, with Sofia just doin' her thang...

Ahhhh, Fridaylicious! Enjoy your margaritas, your bbq's and your couch time (I know I will!)... but be sure to mix it up with a solid sweat sesh or two :)

Images via Nike Women and Nike Women on Facebook
Nike is not paying me to show them off, unfortunately... I just love them.

Happy weekend lovelies!

xoxo
J

Very superstitious, writing's on the wall

2011-07-26T12:34:00.031-06:00

While biking in to work this morning, yet another little blog post light bulb went off... but then I quickly dismissed it. "I can't talk about that, it's not set in stone yet... if I do, I'll jinx it..." I thought. And so my blog sits empty for yet another day.

I then realized that I'm a little superstitious. I fear that if I talk about something too soon, it will be jinxed and won't materialize into reality. I do this in real life as well as in Blog Land. When Homeboy and I started dating back in February/March, I didn't tell a soul. I wasn't hiding it per se, but I wasn't shouting it from the rooftops, either. Our friends harass us now about how long it took us to finally "admit it" on Facebook ('cause nothing is officially official until it's on Facebook, right?). I think that when I get the feeling that something good has fallen into my lap, I protect it in it's early stages, sheltering it from anything that I think may compromise it's survival until it's grown enough to support itself. Weird? Anyone else do this?

There are things on my life horizon that I'm hiding, things I want to share with you and write about. Do I take a risk and share? Do I ignore my superstitious fears, trusting that most end-results are in my control and not completely abandoned to fate? (I'm dramatic, no?)

Yes.

So, my job is ending next Friday. August 5th is my last day. I didn't get canned, I didn't quit... In a nutshell, my position was a temporary appointment and while I knew my employers would have jumped through the HR hoops to extend my appointment if I had asked, I chose not to. I just have this feeling that it's time to move on, that it's time for a new chapter. No, I don't have a replacement in place at this point, beyond my Avon business and fitness teaching. Maybe I should be more worried than I am, but I'm not stressed about it. In fact, despite the challenges I'm going to face, I feel like this is what is supposed to happen. I feel like it's time to finally jump head-on into the myriad of self-employed projects and dreams that I've put on hold for so long... I hope. I mean, I sense that my Avon business and my fitness teaching could be so much more than it is right now, but I struggle to find time to put into them because my time is spent here at my 9-to-5. And I don't love my 9-to-5. I never have loved any of my 9-to-5s, for sitting at a desk job sucks my soul, but ironically that is always the type of job I've had.

And then there is school and dance. More projects and dreams abound there, as well. That's a post for another day.

We Heart It

I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. But I just have this feeling that it's all going to be okay. I have faith that it will all work out fine, for the best... I just have to keep trucking along, pursuing and fighting to make my dreams reality.

xoxo
J

She's got legs

2011-07-18T12:42:00.020-06:00

I'm obsessed with legs. A dancer's body is amazing and beautiful and it's the legs I love the most. I can spend hours pouring over dancer pics, trying to soak in all the beauty and strength and artistry for myself. My eyes are drawn to the legs first, always.

Drew Jacoby and Rubinald Pronk, two of my faves

Of my dance peers whom I admire most, it's not just their impeccable technique or performing prowess, it's also their strong, beautiful legs.

via We Heart It

I constantly fret about my body, if it's strong enough, flexible enough... really, I never feel it's enough of anything, I feel like I have miles of training and conditioning to go, concerns all dancers obsess with, methinks... and of course my worry includes how my body looks. I'm sure you can guess which area I'm most obsessed with...

via 1x.com

It's a constant love-hate battle for me, I won't lie. Yes I'm tall and thin... I didn't earn the nickname Mama Long Legs from friends for nothing, I guess... but I'm still uber-conscious of my legs. I know, I know, I am my harshest critic. And the reactions I get when I admit this obsession to people goes something like, "what?! shut up, you're fine, you look great, stop worrying!"... but I continue to worry. And I continue to lunge, plié, squat, relevé, downward dog and cardio kickbox, aiming for stronger, bendier, beautiful legs like the gorgeous dancers above. I want to be a badass in tights.

xoxo
J

Midsummer

2011-07-15T14:29:00.042-06:00

Hold up summer, what's the rush?? Chill. Kick off your flip flops and stay awhile. Your company I love the most. (Slight panic creeping in upon realization that it's already July 15...)

So lovelies, how are your summers? Mine is going too fast. As usual. I'm not getting done half of what I planned. As usual. But no matta! I'm not going to let that bring down my mood.... there are still about 6 weeks of summer goodness to milk.

Biking is going well for the most part. There have been some not-so-fun adventures, of course. Apparently North America gets monsoon weather, and despite being land-locked almost smack in the middle of the country, Colorado gets hit with it, too. I'm talking hella crazy thunderstorms, rain and hail. It's been better this week, but last week was truly monsoon-y. Which inspired an emergency visit to the bike shop to pimp my ride with front and back fenders to avoid the street-grimed-legs-and-mud-butt results of rain biking. Not a good look when meeting with Avon clients, ha! And one afternoon I hid under a tree during one particular torrential downpour, attempting to stay quasi-dry. Good times.

I did get a break this week... a friend of mine often travels for work, so while working across the pond in London town this week, she allowed me to borrow her car. My quads were very grateful for the vacay! And arriving dry to work and Avon meetings has been lovely :)

Things I'd still like to do before fall semester begins... Hike a couple more montañas. Pool. I've not nearly had enough pool days. Read while sprawling on a blanket under a tree in the park. Sit on more patios, drinking margaritas, mojitos and sangria. Eat lots more corn on the cob. Catch up on SYTYCD... I'm waaaaay behind. And HARRY POTTER, bahhhh!!

Whew, I have a few things to do over the next 6 weeks. I better get a move on...

Pics via We Heart It

Happy Weekend lovelies!

xoxo
J

Pedal Pusher

2011-06-27T12:06:00.016-06:00

So. I'm sure you've all been waiting with bated breath since I last mentioned a pending change in my corner of the 'verse, so I am here to finally spill the beans. Last weekend I downsized from four wheels to two. No more car for me... I'm now a full-time bike commuter!

Most people ask "What happened??" with great concern, but this was a choice. The short version of the story is my youngest brother and his girlfriend are the lucky parents of the Cutest Baby Alive, my nephew. Life has been throwing them curveballs right and left, and one curveball in particular has been the inability to find a car that stays running for longer than a week. Cars are expensive, but when you have a little one a car is pretty much essential.

So I gave them my car. On Father's Day, I handed my brother an envelope with the keys and the title signed over to him. And then I asked him for a ride home :)

Sure, it's been an adjustment... I now only carry the essentials for my day – lunch, laptop, ballet gear, basic Avon business stuff and items to freshen up post-ride. Feel the burn, baby! I may be in shape, but any new activity requires muscles to be used in new ways - I was ready to call it a night by 9:30pm all last week and I’m not an early to bed gal. On Friday I calculated approximately how far I bike in a day, and it came to about 15 miles. Not bad. Oh, and the appetite! I’m a hunger monster anyway, but my food consumption has gone through the roof. The money I’m saving on gas and insurance may be traded in at the grocery store. Holy moly.

What was one of my biggest fears? Helmet hair, ha! But honestly, it's not been as bad as I expected. My bangs fluff back to life without too much effort. And my morning routine is much simpler, allowing me more time to snooze. There is no point in doing a full blowout or makeup face nowadays. Again, I was worried I’d be a hot sweaty mess upon arrival at work, but I change from biking getup to work-apropos outfit, dab on some powder and lip gloss, and I’m good to go. Thank the stars I work in a casual office.

Any inconvenience or adjustment on my part is far outweighed by the benefit to my brother and his li’l family. It was the right thing to do, so no regrets. FoCo is a very bike-friendly little city, so that helps tremendously, too. And you know I'm still sporting my girly style... hot pink Nike backpack; pink, black and white helmet; and my nails are still polished... today is sparkly red Ruby Slipper.

Wouldn't mind if this was the view on my commute...

All kinds of bike-related posts have been swirling around my helmeted head… such as beauty/fashion posts, potentially titled “Biker Babe Beauty” or “Pedal Pushing Pretty”… We’ll see what happens!

images We Heart It

Happy Monday lovelies!

xoxo
J

Friday, you lookin' fiiiiine

2011-06-17T12:17:00.037-06:00

Twas a rough week! No major drama, just serious sleep deprivation. I spent the last week house and dog sitting a town away, which was a good samaritan thing to do to help out my friend, but I'm not gonna lie - I can't wait to get home tonight! I haven't really slept for about 7 nights now and I'm a hot mess. Every night it was something different... the pillows were tweaking my neck funny; the house was hot; the dog decided to bark and play around 3am; I babysat my 6-month old nephew overnight one evening, and the little guy still wakes up in the middle of the night for some grub. Got a little taste of mommyhood there... I will happily rock mommyhood someday, but I'm good with putting that off just a bit longer!

Still the reigning champ of the Cutest Baby Alive Award!

So, YAY weekend and being back home!! Friday is lookin' fiiiiine. What's on my weekend agenda?

Tonight... bed, sleep, passing out. End of discussion.

No sooner do I get home that I leave town again... Tomorrow I head to Denver for a joint birthday bash for some good friends I haven't seen in awhile. Many of the party-goers are hip hop dancers so the dance floor should be bumpin'. I miss that crew... If I'm not too distracted by the awesomeness that is sure to be demonstrated on the dance floor, I'll snap a few pics for le blog. Maybe I'll even be brave enough to jump in there myself. These peeps are legit, so we'll see.

Sunday is Father's Day of course, so I'll spend the day with my dad. This usually includes some bomb barbecue on his part, which will be the perfect cure for birthday dance party recovery.

And then it will be back to the grind before we know it, le sigh...

Ooh, and I have a li'l change happening over the weekend, so the next time I pop in I'll have some news... never a dull moment 'round here!

What are your weekend shenanigans??

Happy weekend loveys!

xoxo
J

Look who's 3!

2011-06-14T14:29:00.030-06:00

My blog turns 3 this week! Since I myself am a December baby and was never able to have the pool party I always dreamed of, I will throw my blog one, right here...

Can't have a party without balloons

I want our guests to have options

Party favors

We'll top the cake with berries picked fresh from our garden!

I'll be here all day, folks

Just because the sun goes down doesn't mean the party's over...

Enter the DJ

Images via We Heart It

Who's going to join us??

xoxo
J

Lunch of champions

2011-06-09T12:22:00.044-06:00

I know better, I really do. I've taken Human Nutrition courses, read plenty of legit nutrition scoop and even hired a personal trainer earlier this year to help contribute to my health quest. I've experienced first hand how much better I feel overall when I'm eating like a health rockstar. Being an athlete, I know the importance of fueling my body. I know what efficiently fuels my body and what's just fluff. I know my jazz.

But sometimes I don't do so hot, and this time the budget is the culprit.

A tricky budget is nothing new in my world, but I always figure it out one way or the other. I'm not always the wisest of consumers and I waste money on things that I convince myself I will die without, which then takes those funds from more important things or goals. One of the bigger goals being returning to student status in the fall and finishing my dance degree next spring (I took this last year off due to finances, for those readers new around here). I'm so close, only two semesters to go!

I've been chipping away at some hefty past-due tuition at the university over the last year and now that I'm down to the wire - two months until fall semester! - I'm in full-on penny-pinching mode. If I had forced myself into said mode months ago this wouldn't be so critical now, but c'est la vie. Long story short, I'm cutting corners and food is one of them... which means three days this week so far I've eaten cup o' noodles for lunch. Ah yes, so nutritious.

I know, I know... you don't need to tell me. But to help give myself some peace of mind, I give my cup o' noodles some oomph with half a tuna or egg salad sandwich (eggs and canned tuna are great cheap protein options, P.S.) and whatever fresh veggies were on sale that day at the grocery store. I keep snacks simple with more veggies and/or fruit and a protein such as yogurt or cheese. And Homeboy has saved the day by feeding me substantial meals for dinner.

I know I can do better than this. I know it's possible to eat on the cheap without sacrificing all nutritional heft. It simply a matter of getting creative and disciplining myself to meal prep better than I have over the last several months. And although I may know my jazz, I don't doubt that there are ideas and tips you all might have that are new and fresh to me... so please send your own healthy-but-cheap strategies my way!

Bon appetit!

xoxo
J

Packed with a punch

2011-06-03T12:52:00.042-06:00

The week was short and sweet but jam-packed full o' goodness.

Numero uno: it is officially summer, y'all... wahooooo!

We Heart It

Okay, maybe not technically until June 21st, but whatevs... June 1st rolls around and it is officially summer in my mind.

Numero dos: Ballet Club is LIVE! Those of us dancers who stay in the FoCo over the summer get together to do ballet and other dance, yanno so we stay in shape and prevent losing all the fierce technique we fought so hard for during the year, [obviously] dubbing it Ballet Club. This year I want to get t-shirts made... Anyone know of any cheapo tee-design websites?? And P.S., you don't use it, you lose it. I am out. of. shape. yo. Well hello there, dance muscles.

Numero tres: SYTYCD! I rarely watch TV but this one I arrange my schedule around, if possible. As cheesy as it may sound, the show completely inspires me... many of those dancers are uh-maaaazing. And truth? It was Season 4 that inspired me to march my little patooty to the CSU Dance Department and sign up. Can't wait for the Vegas call-back show next week.

Numero quatro: Cardio Kickboxing and Strength. This is the group fitness class I teach on Friday mornings. I channel my inner Billy Blanks and do my best to do him proud. My bf (yes, there is a bf on scene... see #5 below) is such a trooper and attends my classes. Um, coolest bf ever! I love teaching... no matter how groggy or not in the mood I am when I roll out of bed on Fridays, after class I am bouncing off the walls and the effects last all day. Every Friday so far = best mood ever.

Numero cinco: Boyfriend. Hmm, whaddya want to know?? We officially started hanging out in February, Valentine's Day to be exact... I know, I know, barf right? But it was not an official Valentine's date - it was very spontaneous and unplanned and involved a romantic dinner of Five Guys burgers. But he's awesome. Really and truly. I mean, the guy attends my fitness class, and that's just the tip o' the iceberg. Something HUGELY awesome about him is the nonstop laughter. We are so dorky and silly together and we make each other almost-pee-our-pants laugh. MUY importante, mis amigos. So now that I've let the cat out of the bag, maybe you'll hear more about him from time to time... stay tuned!

That is all. I will leave you with a video that the bf, whom will be known as Homeboy from here on out, posted on my FB wall last night. He says it makes him think of me. He often comments on my seemingly boundless energy. I guess he's right, but I never really thought about it: I don't stop moving. Enjoy!

Happy weekend, lovelies!

xoxo
J

I'm a junkie... but it could be worse

2011-05-20T14:05:00.037-06:00

I definitely took up residence in Funkytown earlier this week. An exceptionally snarky visit by Aunt Flo plus relentless gloomy, rainy weather did not a happy Jessi make. I know the exact solution to shaking my grumpypants, but when I feel like crap and the weather is dark grey and soaking wet - for days on end, ahem - well, all I want to do is park it on the couch with some B&J's Dulce Delish!

Mmmm, craaaack...

Not a good combo when you have your first cardio kickboxing class to plan. Or accomplish any of the other 37 things to get done by Friday. Yanno.

But then a li'l 30-minute core conditioning lunch-hour class broke the spell! It was all I needed to remember that I'm a ninja who can't be kept down. Two lessons learned here:

#1. A quick sweat sesh is kryptonite to Unmotivation. Life bombards us with a gajillion reasons not to go for that run/bike ride/hit the gym/pop in that Jillian video/dance around the house like the next So You Think You Can Dance candidate (yes, this counts... and yes I do this). And the Excuse Monster is Unmotivation's bestie, so beware. Even 20 minutes of anything that gets the blood moving will roundhouse kick those two square in the family jewels... so in the words of my fave brand, JUST DO IT.

My M.O.

#2. I'm an endorphin junkie. But really, I already knew this.

And to bring this mood turnaround full circle, imagine my surprise when I apprehensively peeked out my curtains this morning and saw blue sky and SUN - I think I audibly squealed. So yeah, I guess I'm a UV/vitamin D junkie, too. Ah well, there are worse addictions I suppose.

And speaking of SYTYCD... t-minus 6 days y'all... BOOM.

Happy Friday loveys!

xoxo
J

Wind in my sails

2011-05-04T15:02:00.064-06:00

So I started writing this post yesterday (Wednesday) when the wind truly was heinous... now it's calmed down to a gentle spring breeze. Nonetheless, here's my rant on Wyoming's wind invasion and how I'm really just jonesin' for summer and a new bikini...

I'm not sure what's going on here in NoCo (northern Colorado), but Wyoming has invaded... if you're not from 'round these parts, that translates to chilly hurricane-gale winds. Don't even bother doing your hair. Glancing outside, it's all sunny and blues skies, making you think "yay, spring!" but upon stepping outside you immediately regret not grabbing a fleece... YUCK. It's May - I don't want to wear boots and sweaters and scarves anymore, y'all. And if any of you know me even a smidgen, you know I'm a summer girl to the core. So, I'm going to channel the SoCal sunshine some of you lovelies whom I blog-stalk (Maegan, Lizzy, Mrs. Swede, to name a few...) have been making me green with envy about, and put together one of those fun summer fashion wish lists... yanno, for when the real summer weather shows up.

I've decided that my 4-year old bikini needs an upgrade. It's holding up quite well for being a boutique Target purchase many moons ago. I do love it - it's a classic triangle li'l number, chocolate brown with real seashells sewn onto it and it would fit perfectly with the tribal theme that is all the rage right now - but I've decided to switch gears and go with one of my all-time fave classic styles: nautical!

I'm dreaming of navy blues stripes, anchor prints and top-siders as my pool uniform this summer. Here are some internet finds inspiring my hunt for the perfect ensemble...

Ahoy there Roxy!

The price is right on these Payless pretties. Espadrilles are my fave summer sandal of. all. time.

I'm having a helluva time finding a nautical/sailor-inspired bikini. I just spent that last couple of hours perusing the interwebs and am quite frustrated. How do you fashion blogging gals do this?? Oy, not my forte. I'm not a endurance shopper in real life (I crap out after a couple hours, typically crabby and ready for food), and I guess the same goes for the 'webs, too. But! I did find this, which is PERFECT...

Nautica

... except... *le sigh*... there are a couple dilemmas. Numero uno, it's $64 for just the top. Um, not exactly in my budget. Numero dos, the smallest top size they have is an 8. Uhhh, yeah, my tiny ta-tas are not quite an 8. Sooo... a little help?? If any of you online shopping mavericks could point me to some sites with bikinis similar to the one above with a lower price tag, I would be eternally grateful!! I'll bake you cookies. And maybe send you a present ;)

23 days 'til the pools open here in NoCo!!

xoxo
J

Comin' up for air

2011-04-25T12:32:00.049-06:00

Dance concerts done. Work slowing down. Aaaaaaand, breathe....

Hello my lovelies! It feels good to have a moment of down time to pop in and say hello... What kind of April shenanigans have you all been up to? Are you all recovering from your Easter candy comas? ;) My April was quite epic. And by epic I mean FULL...

Knocked out three dance concerts...

Spent 3 days in Denver for a work conference...

Traded the tights for a pencil skirt...

Drove an hour back to Fort Collins in the middle of the work conference to audition for CSU Tour Dance Company for next year... made company member and one of the Assistants to the Director :)

Taking a playground break during our 2009 Aspen tour :)

Volunteered with some of the dance crew to help clean up the FoC0 community...

Not the clearest pic... but what a good day!

Auditioned and interviewed for a Group Fitness Instructor position at the CSU Rec Center... and just got the job offer call about ten minutes ago!

Hosted Easter dinner for the fam. I decided to start a new Easter dinner tradition by preparing salmon. I'm definitely not one to follow tradition for the sake of tradition and ham is schmeh as far as I'm concerned... 'Cause the fishes are delicious...

And now I'm regrouping to tackle the next items on the to-do list... finish my taxes (hellooooo extension)! Study for my ACE certification exam! Spring clean the shiz outta my house! Tune up my bike! Spring is here and summer is a-comin' baby... SO excited about this!

Now to do a little blog-stalking to catch up on all of your shenanigans...

xoxo

Sicky time means couch time

2011-03-26T11:24:00.016-06:00

The little cold that decided to show up earlier this week blew up into one nasty, congested mess. No surprise... between two jobs, class, and the height of performing time for the semester, I most definitely do not get enough sleep. I think my body finally had enough and gave in to the cold, forcing me to bed, ha!

Cutest tissue box ever! (we heart it)

Not that feeling like crud is ever fun, I have enjoyed the excuse to park it on the couch and catch up on Food Network shows, movie reruns (Pretty Woman will never get old), and, oh yeah, sleep! And now that I'm starting to feel human again, I can stand to look at the computer without my eyeballs feeling like they're going to pop out of my head... which means blog catch-up time!

Sitting by a pool some place warm would heal my cold right quick! (we heart it)

A box of tissues and cup of tea by my side, Food Network in the background and your blogs all cued up... I think my Saturday is set!

What are your weekend plans, my lovelies??

xoxo
J

Behind in life

2011-03-15T23:09:00.021-06:00

I take 2 steps forward and 5 back...

I am so behind in so many areas of life, ugh. I'm behind with rent and bills. I'm behind in pursuing my dream career (starting dance at 27 with no previous technical dance training is not easy, yo). I'm behind in building my Avon business... so many great ideas to get that rockin', so little time to execute them... I'm waaaaay behind in studying for my ACE Group Fitness certification exam. I feel behind in the love/relationship department. I most definitely do not get enough sleep. And I'm obviously hella behind in making an appearance here on zee blog. [*sigh*]

Oh life.

Mama's tired.

But of course I keep pressing on, because that's what I do. There is a light at the end of this tunnel, somewhere up ahead. I focus on small things that bring me joy, to keep trucking along...

Like daylight savings time! All the whiners are really grating my nerves... "I'm tired, I lost an hour of sleep, it's dark when I get up in the mornings"... dude, it's LIGHT OUT past 6pm, which is glorious... spring is fast approaching, which means the sheer happiness that is summer is not too far behind... the weather is warming up... you don't have to don your winter coat atop 5 layers to attempt to stay warm... no scraping ice off the windows of your car in the mornings... the birds are chirping and it smells like spring - ya know, that earthy, grassy smell?? mmmm.... please stop complaining. You have zero sympathy from me.

My chubby, happy, adorable, precious nephew. The last time I posted pics of him, it was the day of his birth. Here are a couple recent snapshots...

Lucky kid, he gets to do this a lot

Um, yeah. My nephew is the cutest baby on the planet. My apologies to the other babies of the world. And please note the AC/DC onesie. Kid's stylin'.

And speaking of behind on sleep, it is past midnight and I do have to wake up at 6:30, so I should probably think about getting ready for bed... Auntie Jessi is going to make like Forrester and pass out... Nighty nite loves!

xoxo
J

Sabali

2011-02-01T22:27:00.018-07:00

Sabali. Patience.

Patience is the toughest virtue for me to master. When I want something, really want something... I'm not talking about the instant gratification types of coveting, like wanting a Chipotle burrito for lunch or wishing all the traffic lights would be green as I hustle across town to my next obligation... waiting patiently for it is so. damn. hard. Especially if I feel it's something I'm meant to do or be. I feel it physically, like my soul is being squeezed... at times I have crumbled to the floor in tears yearning for things that have yet to enter my life (which sounds so pathetic now that I'm actually writing that out loud, ugh), things I want so badly to be my life.

Then, just as I am on the brink of yet another tearful breakdown, someone or something crosses my path, reminding me to look at my feet. Be present in the moment where I am standing right now. For where you are right now prepares you for where you want to go. And where I am standing right now is exactly where I am supposed to be... right now.

I have big dreams that I'm working to make reality and there are big changes coming over the horizon... I'm both excited and scared (which further excites me!), but I often have to remind myself to breathe and not to get so caught up in dreaming and hoping for what's ahead that I'm neglecting what I can work on now to prepare me for when those dreams and changes arrive at my feet.

I recently created a playlist on my iPod entitled "Sabali". Naturally it's getting a bunch of play time right now. One of the songs on constant replay inspired the title of this post. It's not an actual video, but it's one to just listen to anyhow...

xoxo
J

Grumpy to be grumpy

2011-01-07T13:39:00.040-07:00

Twas a rough week. I won't go into details, but my heart was definitely pulled through the ringer and I am tired. Oh life. The fact that we're in the middle of cold, gray, ugly winter doesn't help... I try really hard to stay positive, but who am I kidding? I really hate winter. I'm cold all the time. It's grey and ugly. All I can think about are 90-degree days, sundresses and my bike. The blues are right on my doorstep, threatening to break down the door. It's the hardest time of the year for me. Once New Years is over, I'd be more than happy to skip right to April.

I've been fighting all week to stubbornly focus on the silver linings in my life. For one thing, it's not my nature to wear grumpy pants. They're too tight and itchy. I get so much joy from just living, most of time. Also, my life is blessed beyond all kinds of ridicularity and I know this. I feel so guilty when I get the blues because I know there are people in this world that have it much, much worse than I do. I have my health, I have my family nearby, I have an amazing circle of friends, my job is steady, I don't fear for my life whenever I walk out my front door (I have friends from places in the world where said safety is non-existent), I get to do what I love, I get to have crazy adventures with said friends doing things that I love... it makes me grumpy to be so grumpy, argh!

So! The silver linings!

Seeing my dance friends. We get serious separation anxiety during breaks. The initial greetings to each other after a time apart is a bit embarrassing... for others. You'd think we were separated by years and oceans... nope, just a few weeks.

Encouraging text messages from friends.

Reading and journaling next to a fire place.

My physical therapist. She's a miracle worker.

Kicking my own booty at the gym. And the dance studio.

Temps in the 40s yesterday and today. Such a welcome break from the bitter cold.

Dance projects! Oh, the dance projects I have coming up!! Nothing centers me more than immersing myself in my art/work/calling.

Making and executing plans to overhaul some areas of my life this year. Exciting!!

That's all I can think of right now. I know there were more, but that's a good running list so far. The fact that today is Friday doesn't hurt a bit, either. Here's to the weekend and more silver linings!

xoxo

Nice to meet you

2011-01-01T19:11:00.008-07:00

Welcome 2011, it's a pleasure to meet you! I have been looking forward to your arrival.

Not that I didn't enjoy 2010's company or time. We had our good times and we had our rough patches, but what relationship doesn't? It's time to wish each other well and wave good-bye as we embark down different roads.

I know we just met and barely know each other, 2011, but something tells me that you're different. I sense currents of change and transition in your energy. I sense something big... or maybe a collective of smaller things that will add up to big. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm projecting. But a flicker of spark deep down tells me otherwise. We shall see. We are only on Day 1 of this relationship, after all, and we don't want to rush into anything.

we heart it

See you tomorrow then?

xoxo
J

Goodnight moon...

2010-12-28T23:13:00.008-07:00

Do you remember this bedtime story from childhood?

It was one of my favorites... but then again, I loved (and still love) so many books.

I was going to try to crank out a legit post tonight, but I am so so tired and instead, I must crash into bed. So...

Goodnight room
goodnight moon
.....
goodnight stars, goodnight air
goodnight noises everywhere.

We heart it

Sweet dreams!

xoxo
J

Miss you

2010-12-27T21:58:00.010-07:00

I miss this thing called blogging. Pictures are fun, and being a visual person myself, I love it when people post pics on their blogs, but I know that for myself, my picture-posting is a bit of laziness on my part. More pictures mean less writing. Tons goes on in my life on the reg - never a dull moment, EVER - but for awhile there I just felt like it was too much work to get it down on e-paper... or that no one would find it interesting, as it was the same stuff, different day/week/month... you know? Anyone else go through this??

However, the blogging bug must have sneaked up and bit me recently when I wasn't looking, because I have been seriously jonesin' to write again lately. Maybe I was in a bit of a dry spell? Maybe I still am, and this is just a mirage in the desert, but the words are appearing on the page, so...

I also miss the heck out of all your blogs, what's going on in your lives, all your pretty pictures ;) It's weird, but while I've not met the majority of people whom I follow here in Blog Land (and probably never will), I find myself wondering what's going on with you all and the details of your lives... What?? Yes. I miss you. Again, anyone else go through this?

Okay, I'll stop waxing sentimental. But I do miss being 'round these parts! And I sure hope that the writing ideas bubbling up inside me aren't mini-mirages but a legit oasis.

We heart it

Happy last week of 2010!

xoxo
J

Birthday Bash

2010-12-13T23:19:00.030-07:00

I almost forgot to post my birthday party pics!

My party was two Saturday's ago and my actual birthday was last week. It was a fabulous birthday, probably one of the best! Between my nephew's arrival and an amazing party, I was quite happy. It was exactly what I hoped for and more!

"Happy birthday to you..."

Make a wish!

It's not a true party without dancing!

Breakin'

Pretty girls

My Russian mafia

SO happy

xoxo
J

Babies and Birthday Parties

2010-12-06T09:58:00.014-07:00

Helloooooooo!!

Long time no blog... but let's cut right to the chase, shall we, because I am bursting with news!

My birthday is this week and I threw a big birthday bash on Saturday night to celebrate. When I woke up Saturday morning, I started gearing up for party prep... cleaning, decorating, baking, shopping, the usual... and then my mother called me to tell me that my brother's girlfriend was in labor! I couldn't cancel my party as over 50 guests were coming, so I jumped right to business, telling my mom to call me when it was time to drive to the hospital.

About 2:30pm my mom called and it was time! I jumped into the shower and headed to the hospital. I was so excited and it was tough to drive the speed limit, ha!

Ladies and gentleman, I present to you Forrester, my perfect little nephew!

He's perfect, he's beautiful

Auntie Jessi is a little smitten!

My brother, catching some zzz's at the hospital... poor kid, he's not going to get much of this anymore ;)

Isn't he precious?! I'm so proud to be an Auntie! I keep showing everyone pictures of him on my phone :) I can't wait to babysit and play with him and spoil him...

Birthday party pics to come, so stay tuned!

xoxo

Student Dance Concert photos, take one

2010-11-08T19:15:00.046-07:00

Waiting on my dance crew to post pics for me to borrow (steal) is like watching grass grow, yeesh. Don't they know my adoring bloggy fans are anxiously waiting?? Ha!

The concert went very well and the audience loved the zombie piece - as did we. Some friends who had never seen me dance got to come to the concert, which I loved. I'm not going to post all the pictures I have now, as I have a handful, and I'm hoping for better ones in the next show.

Caught gettin' down with my bad self pre-costume in the dressing room

Me and my girls... aren't they pretty?

I danced in five pieces total. In the first piece, the choreographer included pitchers filled with water as a prop, and we poured water into each other's pitchers throughout the dance. It was challenging not to spill on stage and we succeeded... mostly.

Water fountain girls with our choreographer.

The next piece involved cups... many of the choreographers were students in Choreography II, and they were required to use a prop of some kind. This dance included a live drummer onstage, and we created rhythms and beats ourselves, clapping and slapping the floor and playing a rhythmic game with the cups, which many of the girls had played as kids (I had never heard of it, but I am a bit older than them, ha!). The piece had a very tribal feel.

I'm the one rolling backwards with my leg straight up in the air.

Howl like she-wolves (I'm far left).

Tall girls rarely get lifted (we're usually the lifters), so I was stoked to be the one to get to do the splits in the air!

I am rooted like a tree...

And this dance included pillow cases....

Aaaaaaaand the piece you've all been waiting for... zombies!! A zombie wedding, to be exact. Unfortunately, I don't have many pics of this one, but here are a couple to hold you over...

The mother-of-the-bride must have big, crazy hair to complement the gold lame blouse...

The entire wedding party.

Why no action zombie shots?? Long story... but we are gearing up for the Fall Dance Concert this coming weekend, and the zombie wedding will be presented again! A photographer friend of mine will be there so hopefully zombie action shots, take two, will be a success. It darn well better be, 'cause this piece rocks my socks and I want to share it with y'all!

There was one more piece, the "naked/digital" piece (related to our costumes, explanation to accompany pics), which is my other fave along with the zombie piece, but again no action shots. It will also be in the next concert so I'm crossing my fingers that my friend gets good shots of that one, too.

Nighty nite!

xoxo
J

Dance and zombies

2010-10-29T16:31:00.011-06:00

It's the day of the show, y'all! T-minus 3.5 hours 'til curtain and I'm buzzin' with the typical pre-show excitement!! Tonight the fall student dance concert opens. Have I mentioned lately that I LOVE what I do?!?

Also on the weekend agenda... umm, nothing much else, ha! The concert will take most of my time (I will be at the studio tomorrow from noon until about 10pm) and I've been so exhausted this week (see previous post) that all I want to do Sunday is lay around in my sweats and pass out candy to the kiddos. My costume will be Exhausted Dancer, hope it doesn't scare the kids, lol!

I have to make one last shopping trip to Walmart for the show... bandaids, fake zombie blood, spirit gum for my fake gash wound and makeup remover for said blood and spirit gum. This isn't for my Halloween costume... I get to be a zombie in the show!! Yes yes y'all, we are featuring a zombie dance, it is SO much fun! Pictures next week ;)

Happy Halloween, loves!!

xoxo
J

My happy place

2010-10-25T22:47:00.013-06:00

The wind is howling outside. If it were summer, I'd be worried there was a tornado on it's way! Today was so cold and it was so gray this morning, it just broke my heart... so it begins, *le sigh*. Several months of cold, bleary, dreary, gray yuck.

Okay, I'm leaning a bit to the dramatic side... this is Colorado, which means Thanksgiving could be in the 60s - heck, even Christmas could have freakishly warm weather like that! - and the sun prevails the majority of the time, even when the temps are in the single digits. I'm very tired, so my drama meter is running high. Bear with me.

I was at the studio tonight, of course, but instead of regular rehearsal, we were running tech rehearsals in preparation for the latest dance concert, which will take place at the end of this week. Choreographers have been calling extra rehearsals as show time draws near, per the norm, which means I'm packing even more into my already tight schedule. I'm exhausted. I'm incredibly sore. I'm bruised and banged up. My feet have floor burns and bleed if I don't keep them bandaged (gross, but the life of a dancer... we do not have pretty feet). But I am happy.

I dread the cloud that settles upon me during winter, growing a bit darker each day until spring reappears, but I realized something tonight. Dance helps me fight that dark cloud. When I'm inside my little dance universe, I'm transported to a happy place. The cold, blustery, gray yuck outside can't touch me. I walk through the doors, inhale and exhale my first few dance breaths and it's game on. All the yuck outside fades and is forgotten.

Despite my stress, exhaustion and pain I was reminded today of my happy place. And I am grateful.

Bisous, bisous!

F-i-n-a-l-l-y

2010-10-15T15:06:00.029-06:00

Good grief, Friday, what took you so long!?

I hate hate hate weeks where I wake up everyday thinking it's farther into the week than it really is. Makes me crazy!

I have no epic plans for this weekend. I'm simply happy that it's the weekend.

Oh, I'll do things...

Like sleeeeeeep!

Take my sweet time getting out of my sweats and into real clothes, then eventually venturing out to shop a little for some real clothes.

My shopping bags will say "Ross" on them, but a girl can dream...

Continue watching the Firefly series (I love the movie Serenity and finally started watching the series the movie was based on, per many friends' suggestions), and hopefully catch up on Grey's and Gossip Girl episodes online... as usual, dance rehearsals cut into my TV shows. The nerve!

Maybe go to the gym for some cardio kickboxing goodness, but sleep might trump this plan since the class is on Saturday morning...

Read. Write.

Cook something scrumptious. My meals are quite basic during the week (I'm talking sandwiches, canned soup and eggs cooked in various ways) due to one tightly-crunched schedule, so I like to get crazy in the kitchen on the weekends. I've been craving squash and cinnamon and cardamom and wine, so we'll see what ends up on the table...LOL... so me during the week

(Both images from We Hear It)

A string of rehearsals on Sunday. Which means I won't get out of my sweats on Sunday.

Any epic plans for your weekend?

Happy weekend, my lovelies!

xoxo J

News Brief - the grumpies, the 'Bucks, aerobics and blonde hair

2010-10-13T14:44:00.022-06:00

The latest Jessi News Brief...

I miss Blog Land, but life is such right now that I just can't read, comment or write as much or as often as I used to. I pop in when I can and am keeping up with you all as best I can... I miss obsessively checking in everyday, but such is life right now.

Dance is going alright, but I still want more. Last night I was watching choreography created by my school peers, and I got really emotional. It was a rush of knowing that I am exactly where I belong in life, that the dance studio/stage is home, mixed with sadness that I can't do it to the extent or capacity that I desire. I know I need more... I haven't taken ballet in a couple months now and I can see and feel the absence of ballet conditioning. I'm still jonesin' to find myself a jazz class to start building that vocabulary, but I just can't take on more right now. My schedule shifts come November, so we'll see... I get so frustrated with myself because I want to have a better attitude, to be grateful with what I do have, grateful that I get to dance, but I'm struggling to shake the grumpies that are lingering like a bad cold.

Like dance, I want to do more with my Avon business than I am or can right now. When I started my business I fantasized about jumping right in to having a huge customer base, my own home office (completely furnished, of course) and rockin' the crap out of my business so that it is my only income source... I have such an entrepreneurial spirit, desperately wanting to be my own boss, create my own schedule, all with the goal of having a flexible schedule to work around dance. See? The grumpies.

Okay, okay, I need an attitude adjustment here... I think I'm going to take a cue from the lovely Liz over at It's Unbeweavable and list things that are making me happy right now... hope she doesn't mind!

Salted beverages at the 'Bucks. Pumpkin spice, schmumkin spice... I'm all over my custom Starbucks beverage, a salted soy caramel macchiato. It's not on the menu, but they'll make it for you if you ask. I should trademark it as the Jessi Special. If you're a sweet-salty fan, try one the next time you make a Starbucks run.

Pumpkin. I may be indifferent to pumpkin spice lattes, but throw some pumpkin puree into muffins, pancakes or cake and you have my attention. I whipped up some pumpkin pancakes last weekend, topped with a variation of cream cheese frosting that I concocted, with much less sugar than frosting and runnier, so a kind of cream cheese "syrup", if you will. The roomies and I inhaled them.

Boots. I just found some flat, black Report booties for $16 last week at Ross. I've hardly been wearing anything else since.

Aerobics classes. I adore aerobics classes. Every single class I take I get nostalgic for when I was an aerobics instructor once upon a time, thinking I should re-certify (another thing on my perpetual wish list). I'm going to toot my horn here, so please forgive me... but I was good. And I think that I'd still be good. Friends tell me I should teach Zumba, and I have forever and a day wanted to teach Tae Bo or some other cardio kickboxing offshoot. Maybe I will someday pursue this. Someday.

Last, but not least... my new hair!! I give you Phase 1 of my Blonde Transformation...

Gearing up (sorry for the crappy quality, I took these with my phone)

Foiled!

Phase 1 complete!

I think I look better blonde... My hazel green eyes have just popped and I have more color in my face. I feel like I have to wear less makeup. I was a bit worried I'd look washed out, considering how fair skinned I am, but I feel the contrary happened... my complexion seems warmer. And based on the compliments I get, I don't think it's all in my head, lol! I'm planning to go even blonder, in due time :).

Happy Hump Day, everyone!

xoxo

Now where did I leave off...?

2010-09-23T12:30:00.054-06:00

First off, I would to thank Tiffany over at Dancing Branflakes for shaking me from my non-posting coma with a simple little "where you at?!" comment! I've been in a blogging dry spell, mixed with thoughts like "who wants to read my ramblings anyway?", and before I realized it, saying "I'll do it tomorrow" day after day has turned into weeks later... Thanks girl!

Omigosh, where do I even begin?!

I guess just pick up where I am at the moment...

I'm still lovin' the new house (which isn't quite so new anymore), and what I love most is the wonderful people I'm meeting there! My house sitch is kinda unique... most of the people that live there are very short-term housemates. Most are veterinary students doing short-term externships at CSU (myself and one other roomie are the "permanent" residents of the house). Most people are there anywhere from 2- to 6-weeks and they come from all over, literally. There are Americans and there are international students. Since I've been here, there was guy from Spain, a gal from Georgia (the US state), a woman from Denmark, and now there is a girl from Washington, DC, and two Frenchies - everyone has been so wonderful! So far everyone has gotten along great and we have such a good time hanging out, cooking and eating together, learning about each other's cultures and lives and just plain making friends. This is so perfect for me. I have such a strong desire (obsession, really) to travel and live all over the world, learn different languages and live life outside of the American box.

My infatuation with fall grows... scarves have been a regular part of my wardrobe lately, all I want are salted caramel macchiatos from the 'Bucks and I'm getting antsy to find me some tall flat boots. The other thing I love about fall?? It's creative season. I don't know what it is, but there is definitely a strong ebb of creative energy at this time of year because I get into total create mode when fall comes knocking... it ranges from epic cooking and baking projects, to choreography, to writing, to wanting to sew and sketch and craft like its my job. Sadly, there is little time in my crammed schedule to bring any of these things to fruition, which just breaks my heart. I know, I know, it's a matter of me making the time, but so far I've not done that. But oh, the project ideas I have swimming around in my head!!

Dance. Oh dance. Dance is this this constant tug-of-war between confidence and insecurity... Earlier this month I was grappling with serious frustration and identity issues over my new schedule... specifically, not being a student, not choreographing, sitting at a desk all day and dancing for what I felt (and still feel) is a mere tidbit of my day. I need my job and am very grateful for it, but I struggle with the fact that I sit for a crap load of hours a day and only move for a few. I do have rehearsals through the week, I take class a few times a week and I'm cross-training at the gym to compensate for the lack of dance hours, but I never feel like I'm doing enough. Ever. I can feel and see the effects on my body of not dancing 4-6 hours a day and it's completely discouraging.

We Heart It

And then there are weeks like last week and this week. There has been some emotional stuff to work through but dance has helped bring me back to the moment. Concentrating on balancing on one leg while slowly extending the other into the air takes all that I have... and it reminds me that I am exactly where I should be, right now, and my spirit is refreshed. I still grapple with frustration, but as time passes it's lessening to moments rather than entire days or weeks. I'm coming to terms with how my life is right now by taking it a day at a time, or even hour by hour on some days... some days I'm fine and other days I just have to write off.

Have a lovely weekend everyone! Remember to live in the moment...

xoxo
J

Oh, hello September, didn't see you there...

2010-09-02T13:27:00.015-06:00

Wow, September already! I'm battling the denial that my favorite season is ending... but the upside is that fall is my second favorite, so wins all around!

Fare thee well, summer, my love! I will miss your pool days, barbecues with friends, 14er climbs and camping trips, watermelon for dinner... I will miss sundresses and my bikini and sandals... I will miss the barbecue smells as I bike through neighborhoods, the sound of lawn mowers on Saturday mornings... I will miss the white-hot sun kissing my skin a rosy-gold... please write often and see you in about 8 months!

Welcome, fall! I look forward to football days, harvest parties with friends, fall hiking trips and apple butternut squash soup for dinner... I look forward to scarves and tall boots and sweaters... I can't wait for the smell of falling leaves and colder air... I look forward to cooking and baking with cinnamon, bay leaves and nutmeg... I look forward to lazy Sundays cozied up with a good book and a hot mug of chai tea... make yourself at home!

Images compliments of We Heart It

xoxo
J

I escaped the cave!

2010-08-24T15:34:00.027-06:00

If you've been a reader for a bit, you've heard me mention my "office-cave" once or twice. And a cave it was. In the basement, cold, sterile white walls... not exactly the ideal work environment for inspiring productivity. But as of last week, the cave is no longer!

My work crew moved to our new building last week. I've been waiting for this move for awhile, knowing it would be my escape from the office-cave. And despite the glitches that come with a new building that is still under construction in parts, I'm very glad we're finally here. Very glad. Let me take you on a pictorial journey from office-cave to room-with-a-view.

Before...

... and after!

This is the view from my office. The landscaping is still in progress, but not a bad improvement from the window-less basement, eh?

Its amazing how much your environment affects your mood, productivity, focus, etc. I never thought about it much until we set up shop in the new digs... my mood at work was a total 180-degree turnaround in a matter of hours! Lesson learned to make your space yours with posters, pictures, artwork, anything to make your 8-, 9-, 12-hours more comfortable. As I continue unpacking at home, I'll figure out what to bring to work to bring a little Jessi flavor to the office!

xoxo
J

Ch-ch-ch-changes... Part 3

2010-08-20T14:55:00.036-06:00

At last!! I made it back to Blogland alive! :)

We've been moving to a new building at work this week, so my life is in disarray both at home and now at the office, wheeeeeee! But change is good. Keeps things fresh AND my new work digs are brand new, versus the prison-like dungeon I was in before. More on that later.

And now for the third installment of the Ch-ch-ch-changes trilogy!

Change #3: New house!

I'm quite excited about my move. I've been there about two weeks now - yes, I'm still living among towers of boxes and piles of stuff - and I'm in love love love!

Location, location... I'm back to the student-centered CSU 'hood. I love the energy that CSU and Old Town bring. I'm definitely not a 'burbs girl. At all. My drive to work is now 7 minutes - booya! By bike, I'm guessing 15 minutes, but I haven't biked it yet. I don't know, I just feel like I'm back home. Do you all have areas or neighborhoods in your towns and cities that just feel like you belong to each other? I'm there.

The space I now have has seriously downsized, but I don't mind at all. For one thing, it's forced me to downsize the amount of stuff I own, and I'm still whittling it all down. While packing for my move, I was kind of appalled at how much crap I'm dragging around. And I probably only use 20% of it most of the time. I'm donating, selling and throwing out like its my job! The smaller rooms, closets, etc., are good training for when I move to a big city or across the pond (!!) someday. We tend to spread out here in the West, but I know big cities and Europe are compact.

The house is old-school, maybe built in the 50s? I've always loved older houses - I'd love to live in a 1920's bungalow in Old Town. My room totally reminds me of my grandma's house (the one that is still living), which was built in the 50s... the heating vent, the hardwood floors. Omigosh, we have an older gas stove in the kitchen!! I don't know what year, but it has one of those warming compartments to the side of the oven, which we use to store cookie sheets and the like. So fun, I'm so tickled with my house.

I only got a couple pictures, which really doesn't show much of the house, but once I get unpacked and decorated, I'll do a follow-up post.

My dresser with one corner of the room reflected in the mirror... the desk now has piles all over it, and I removed the lamp and fake flowers (they came with the room).

Reflection of the other corner of the room. I bought myself a bunch of my fave flowers to brighten the room and give it some love.

The walls look slightly sea-foam green in the pics, but they're gray.

Please disregard the spotted glass! Cleaning it is on the to-do list. This is the backyard, complete with spacious deck (can we say bbq's and dinner parties?!), grapevine, brick bbq, a garden to the left (out of view) and a plum tree to the right (also out of view). OMG, I'm excited to have people over!!

I'm still digging and hunting for things, which make getting ready in the mornings quite interesting, but its a process.

Happy weekend everyone!! What are your plans? I'm quite excited for mine... this weekend is the biggest festival of the summer here in the FoCo, New West Fest, which includes a ton of fun musical performances. Tonight is the Flobots!!! Eeeeeek, I've been waiting for them all summer! I choreographed my anti-racism piece to their "Anne Braden" song last fall. And tomorrow is Earth, Wind & Fire! What what! Oh, did I mention that both shows are FREE?! Too much fun.

Have a lovely weekend everyone!!

xoxo
J

Under construction!

2010-08-16T15:57:00.005-06:00

The aforementioned part trois of my "ch-ch-ch-changes" trilogy, that is.

I'm working on it. I promise. I'm just waiting on me to take a few more pics of my new digs for the post before I post. I have some, but I'd like a handful more. So the post is pretty with pics and all.

But I know me - if I don't give myself an expiration date, y'all could be waiting at least another week... SO. If I don't get those pics taken tomorrow morning before heading to work, fo'gettaboutit! The post is going up regardless.

Over and out.

xoxo
J

Ch-ch-ch-changes... Part 2

2010-08-12T16:23:00.008-06:00

Part two of our story is bittersweet...

Change #2: School and dance

A couple months ago I think I posted about my money woes and how they affect school... I can't specifically remember, but I only have a short time to write and can't go hunt my archives right now, so let's assume I did. The short of the long of it is that I'm out of money. I'm no longer eligible to receive financial aid and I'm behind on tuition from last year, which means I'm can't register for classes.

Okay. Then in a zippy unexpected twist, about a month ago I received a letter from the university saying that I have a "credit overload violation" for my current degree, which means I'm not allowed to register or receive financial aid. Um, credit overload violation, what?? I was not aware that this even existed. And I'm pretty sure that I should have been warned by someone that this was/is a possibility. Annoying to say the least.

Well, circumstances are what they are and I'm accepting them and figuring out a new plan of attack to keep dancing and training. Of course I'm disappointed. Of course I'm sad to miss out on the adventures and shenanigans that is CSU Dance. Of course I'm frustrated to not complete my goal of obtaining my dance degree. Of course I'm crazy worried about losing technique and strength and flexibility if I can't dance everyday. Dance is not something you can take a semester off from and return 4 months later, picking up exactly where you left off.

BUT.

Its not the end of the world. A bachelors degree in dance is not the end and and be all of being a dancer. You don't need any kind of degree to be a dancer. So I will continue to train and take class and workout and choreograph and take class and train and choreography and take class... so I continue to move forward toward my goals and hopes and dreams. This doesn't mean I give up. It means I forge a new path.

Tune in tomorrow for part trois of the changes trifecta...

xoxo
J

Ch-ch-ch-changes... Part 1

2010-08-11T16:25:00.017-06:00

Hello hello!! Once again I fell off the blogosphere train after promising that this time I returned for good. I think I'm going to stop saying that, lol!

Life's adventures really never do end, do they? But that's what makes life fun, right?! RIGHT. And the constant onslaught of adventures in my life is inspiring this next trifecta of blog posts (three planned posts?! yes. optimistic, considering my posting has been sporadic for a long while now, I know...). Today I present you with installment numero uno.

August is all about transitions... summer to fall, break to back-to-school...

Change #1: My "new" job

Compliments of We Heart It

I say "new" because its the same day-job in the office-cave but the status has been changed from hourly to salary. Along with this status change comes a significant pay raise - can I get an Amen?! - and full time hours. I will be doing the same things so not much will change there. It is a temporary appointment (contract ends in April) which means no benefits (sad) but all is well because my employers took that into account when deciding on my salary, so I can [hopefully] afford some kind of health insurance on my own. We'll see how that goes.

This is a huge relief... Just several weeks ago I wasn't sure I would even be employed past July 30. [Insert slight panic.] My hourly appointment was a temporary thing, and because I work for a public university, there are all kinds of rules and regs and required signatures to changing status, and its never a guarantee. But all is well now.

And what a relief with the money! Not only am I relieved, but I'm buzzing with this one... BIG plans here, which means attacking my crazy-outta-control-financial-debt-hot-mess with ninja fury. This isn't just a wish in my head... I'm working on a bonafide plan. Game ON.

Its funny... my job is the same but I'm still excited as if it were brand spankin' new. So what do I do?? I start window shopping for a new working girl wardrobe, lol! Same job, so same dress code... but for some reason I think that I suddenly need all these new clothes! Well, I do need some new things, but probably not as crazy as I'm imagining it in my head :)

But, wait... how does this affect dance classes in the fall?? Tune in tomorrow for installment number two... :)

xoxo
J

I interrupt your regularly schedule program...

2010-08-08T22:02:00.006-06:00

... to announce that I am setting up shop in my new digs, aaaaand... drumroll, please... I. HAVE. INTERNET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Over and out.

xoxo J

News!

2010-07-28T14:11:00.005-06:00

I know I promised you work and dance updates, but the final word on the work sitch is still pending, so I don't want to mention anything until things are finalized. And the dance updates are tied to the work update, so I have to wait on that. Fingers crossed for next week...

Enough babbling... I have news!!

Come late November, I will become an aunt for the first time. And it's a boy! His name will be Forrester Carpenter Day... Forrester for the grandfather that passed away last August and Carpenter is my mother's maiden name and my brother's (the daddy) middle name. He will have the names of both my grandpas. I love it :)

The news that my baby brother's girlfriend is preggers was a bit surprising about a month and a half ago... he's 21, she just turned 20, so well, the situation is not ideal. But life happens. To all of us. So no one in the fam has been judgey (at least not the immediate fam) and we're all loving and supportive... what good would it do to be judgemental?? It is what it is, and holy moley, they're both so young and a bit scared, so the best the rest of us can do is love on them. So that's what we're doing.

And now I have four months of planning and shopping to get ready for this Auntie business :)

xoxo
J

And it goes on and on and on and on

2010-07-23T13:55:00.020-06:00

Hey hey!

Long time no blog, I know. Sorry, been busy. Just the usual... work and Avon and dance and church stuff and the typical summer shenanigans. A quick round of pics from last weekend's adventures...

I heart gelato!

Amigos

Air pool-stick guitar

Cue it up!

I want to thank everyone for your sweet comments and condolences for my grandma. All of your comments really touched me!! Her service was small but sweet, and the weather was gorgeous. Colorado-sunny, but not too hot, and the coolest part: while the minister was doing his thing, a yellow monarch butterfly kept fluttering around. We all agreed that it was Grandma hanging out one last time before heading up to chill with Grandpa. It was great :)

Life goes on and both Grandma and Grandpa were no-BS, hard-workin' folk, so I know they'd want me to do exactly that - no moping around for too long allowed! My days are quite full, and my happy-go-lucky, I'm-in-love-with-summer self returned last week and has definitely been in full-force this week.

There are things to report - about my job, about school/dance - but I'll save that for next week (if I can get myself to Blogland long enough to write a post, sheesh...). I just don't have a long post in me right now.

This weekend's shenanigans entail camping and hiking a 14er (that's a 14,000-foot mountain, for you flat-landers ;) ) - or two! Pics to come, I'm sure ;) What are your weekend plans??

Happy weekend, lovelies!

xoxo
J

For Grandma

2010-07-06T12:00:00.018-06:00

I hope you all had a lovely holiday weekend! My weekend was good, filled with the summer activities that I love... the pool, ballet, bike rides, friends, fireworks despite the rain... but it ended on a sad note.

I received a call from my dad on Sunday night saying that Grandma was not doing well, and that he and my aunts had decided to let nature take it's course after months of her steady health decline. At 6am today he texted me that she passed away in her sleep last night.

She's had Alzheimer's and dementia for a couple years now, and over the last month or so she has been in and out of the hospital with increasing health problems. Grandpa died this past August, so the family expected Grandma to go shortly after. She wasn't "aware" in the way we all are, but we know that she knew Grandpa came to be with her at the nursing home every single day, and when he passed, a part of her did, too. So, we all knew it was coming. But it's still sad.

I went to see her yesterday at the nursing home to say good-bye. She wasn't awake (her decline over the weekend brought her into a coma) and wouldn't have known who I was even if she were awake, but I know she knew her family was there, loving on her. I'm grateful I had the opportunity to see her again before she left this world.

If I remember correctly, Grandma's favorite color was yellow. I visited a trial flower garden yesterday with a friend and we took these pictures. I think Grandma would like them. So they're for her.

We will miss you dearly, Grandma. I have very fond memories of you and all your sassyness! :) Although you're gone, I know you're in a better, happier place now, no longer suffering, and with Grandpa. I take comfort in this, and knowing I will see you both again someday. I love you!

xoxo
J

Happy Independence Day, US of A!

2010-07-03T23:47:00.006-06:00

We Heart It

xoxo
J

Belated Blogiversary!! And soaking up summer

2010-06-29T12:39:00.030-06:00

While out playing this last weekend, I was thinking how I should blog about whatever adventure I was on at the moment - which I now don't remember what it was I was thinking of writing about - and then it hit me... my 2-year Blogiversary was June 13! And I missed it! Bad blogger.

So, happy belated Blogiversary to my little blog!! It's been fun, playing here in my little corner of the blog universe. I know I've been MIA lately, but there is much too much fun to be had in the summer sun, taking me away from the computer (and I still am internet-less at home, so that doesn't help)... but I'm not giving up on you, my li'l baby!

If it is the least bit sunny outside, I absolutely cannot justify staying inside. With each passing moment indoors, this panicked urgency starts gripping my heart - I'm missing precious sun-time! I will actually get grumpy if I can't get out and play. No sleeping in for me (minus last Saturday, and I was quite bummed that my morning was "wasted" sleeping, even though I probably needed it since I went to bed the night before at 3am, lol). My house is in dire need of organizing and cleaning, but I just can't do it. I'm stuck inside all day during the work week, so when the weekend rolls around, it's playtime - that 5 o'clock "bell" rings on Friday afternoon and I mentally check out of work mode like my life depends on it.

Hiking, biking, rafting, barbecues, pool parties, dancing... I just can't get enough of summer...

Suiting up... our wetsuits are s-e-x-y!

Ready to ride the rapids! (I'm crouched in the front row, 2nd in from left.)

Moonlight hike sans the moon... cloudy skies and forest fire smoke didn't keep us from climbing!

Climbing down (I just noticed that I'm totally color-coordinated, lol!)

With the bros and Dad on Father's Day.

Pool par-tay! (I'm standing in the back.)

Head for the hills!

Ballet, mid bike ride :)

I don't mess around with mid-ride snacks - forget energy bars, most of them taste like wood anyway... hell-ooooo fruit & chocolate!

I hope you all are enjoying summer as much as I am! Get out there and enjoy the sun, the surf, the mountains, whatever it is that you have... summer is here and gone before we know it!!

xoxo
J

Sweet, sweet soreness

2010-06-10T16:02:00.008-06:00

I'm happy to say that I stuck to my guns last night, and despite dinner plans with Mom, I got down to tae-bo business when I got home. No excuses allowed... "I'll be too full from dinner", or "it will be late and I have other things I should do..." I ate small portions and brought the rest home. I got home at 7:30, so it was definitely not too late. And yes, plans to continue organizing my stuff for this weekend's garage sale got sidelined, but I didn't (and don't) care. My mood was a 180-degree turnaround post-workout from the crabbypants I was beforehand. Game on.

It's amazing how quickly you lose it when you don't use it. I was huffin' and puffin' through those kicks and punches, and the stretch session afterward was humbling. But I pushed and breathed through, and today I have some seriously sore muscles to show for it... and I love it! I may be keenly aware of muscles I haven't used in awhile, but I'm one happy li'l camper today.

Tonight I continue my mission and will head to the dance studios to work through ballet barre, Horton exercises (a form of modern dance technique), and any stretching my sore muscles will allow. And then I get to enjoy dinner and a margarita with friends later... life is good.

xoxo J

Just do it

2010-06-09T16:40:00.027-06:00

As I drove to work this morning I began to feel the dark cloud of crankiness start to creep in... I wasn't entirely sure why or where it was coming from, so I just took note and continued about my day. Then at some point this afternoon, it dawned on me: I have scheduled [crammed] so many things this week that I've compromised any time to workout, condition and dance. Not only do I need to do it for my career, but mama also needs it for her sanity.

My initial reactions were along the lines of "I need to make/find time in my schedule!". Nope, wrong. Unfortunately I do not have a magic wand to add more time to the day, nor can I live on less hours of sleep... I need to say, without guilt or reservation, the big, ugly N word: NO. (Not an easy task for this girl!)

This doesn't mean I bail on other obligations or responsibilities, or forgo any kind of social life. I just say NO to bumping my workout time. Make it an obligation as important as other important business I have to take care of, including fun business. Set it in stone and schedule things around it. No budging, no excuses. Excuses aren't going to keep me in shape and get me in better shape. If that means I do it at 9 o'clock at night sometimes, then so be it. If that means I arrive late to dinner with friends, flushed and glowy and my hair a bit disheveled, so be it. I didn't get a get-out-of-jail-free card because it was late in the evening or because I didn't sleep well the night before while in Chicago last summer... and wouldn't you know it, I was in the best shape of my life, physically and technically.

Protect my workout time like it's my job. Because if I don't and I get to Friday each week and have logged way too much desk time without countering it with solid sweat sessions, then I'm going to be wearing my crabby pants like it's my job. And no one wants to be around Jessizilla. I don't want to be around Jessizilla. AND! The dancers that I admire so much in my Dance Magazines don't look like they do or do what they do by coming up with pathetic excuses as to why they can't workout tonight...

Nike has it figured out. Their slogan isn't given a second thought anymore, but if you really think about it, they've summed it up in three little words... no excuses, no whining. Just do it.

via We Heart It

That means you, too... whatever it is you've been meaning to do, putting off... no excuses!

xoxo
J

It's here!!

2010-06-08T15:59:00.007-06:00

Ladies and gentleman, I bring you the Fort Collins Party... Like It's 1985 flash mob performance, as promised!!

Too. Much. Fun!!

I was on such a high when we got done dancing, that I turned to the person next to me and said, "we have to take this on tour!" Okay, maybe that's a stretch, but hot diggity I had a BLAST!!

xoxo
J

Forget Monday... where did May go??

2010-06-04T11:32:00.015-06:00

Yowza, June is here!! That just tickles my fancy, since June 1 signals the official beginning of summer in my little corner of the universe.

What have I been up to?? LIFE! Bike rides, pool parties, soaking up the sun, teaching dance, learning dance, being an Avon lady... I thought my to-dos would settle a little upon the arrival of summer, but such is not the case. Funny, though, it's a different kind of busy than when school is in session... I think the key is less stress. Summer just brings me a carefree outlook that I love and need!

I'm short on time, thanks to my many to-dos... so I leave you with some of my latest visual inspiration as we embark upon the weekend!

All from We Heart It

Happy Friday, happy weekend, happy summer!!

xoxo
J

Where did Monday go??

2010-05-26T15:46:00.047-06:00

Not that I'm complaining. At all. But I was going to post a weekend re-cap on Monday, and lo-and-behold, as I made my way into Blogland this morning, I did a double-take when the calendar showed Wednesday. Shizam!

So. The weekend.

Friday was SO fun. More fun than I've had in a single evening for awhile... how about I tell you all about it in pictures??

The prep...

The BFF and I

Boy George was there!

The mob in action (I'm in there somewhere)

Wha-what?!?

And my all-time favorite photo of the night....

Ahhhhhh, good times. The latest on the video is that the camera crew is still in editing mode. Have no fear, I haven't forgotten my promise of flash mob footage!

The rest of the weekend was a continuation of Friday's wonderfulness... the weather was sunny and gorgeous, which put me in the best mood. I can never fully articulate how much I adore the sun and hot weather. Let not the ivory complexion fool you... I'm a sun baby! I got my first sunburn of the season - nothing horrible, but oopsy daisy. I couldn't help myself... I was sitting in the sun at a friend's graduation party on Sunday and could. not. move. It was heaven.

There are mimosas in heaven.

One perk to not realizing it's Wednesday until you do realize it's Wednesday, is that that week is already half over! And bonus - since it's Wednesday afternoon, we're officially on the downhill slide. Shizam!

2010-05-21T13:06:00.008-06:00

T-minus 4 hours until I will don the neon and Party Like it's 1985!! (See the previous post if you have no idea what I'm talking about.) Am I getting anything done today? Absolutely not. Totally distracted with excitement.

In honor of tonight's festivities, here are the songs compiling the mix I will be performing to, in order...

One of my all-time faves

I know this technically came out late-70s, but it still rocks

Oh yes, we are busting out these moves...

Happy Friday everyone!!

xoxo

Neon nostalgia

2010-05-20T13:43:00.036-06:00

Remember the time when I talked about my dance adventures in my blog??? There's been so much going on in my life between break-ups, injuries, torturous visits to the dentist and becoming a business gal, that I almost forgot about my numero uno activity!!

I kid, I kid...

But really, I don't want you to think I'm giving up the tights and stage makeup for face cream and my own business cards... no no no. I will be rocking the two like I have a split personality.

So, yes, DANCE! In a couple weeks I will be teaching swing dance to teenagers at a local ballet studio's summer intensive. I'm hoping that maybe, just maybe, this will open doors to future teaching gigs there. I absolutely love to teach and share my love of dance. I'll also be teaching MJ's Thriller choreography to a group at my church, who will to teach it to kids in Nicaragua while on a mission trip down there this summer.

Oh MJ, how I heart you so...

AND! The current dance project I'm involved with has me so. excited. I can hardly stand it... you've all seen these YouTube clips of flash mob dances, right??

Sound of Music at Central Station in Antwerp, Belgium

Oprah's Kickoff Party with the Black Eyed Peas in Chicago, Illinois

That's right, y'all... li'l ol' Fort Collins, Colorado, is joining the Flash Mob ranks this Friday night! Now, it won't be nearly as big as Antwerp or Chicago as far as numbers go, but it's going to be pretty sweet. In celebration of downtown Fort Collins square's 25th anniversary, there is a big "square" (versus block) party, "Party... Like It's 1985"! There will be break dancers, a dj spinning old school 80s jams, and everyone is encouraged to rock their favorite 80s look. OH. MY. GAWWWD!!! I can't even begin to tell you how flippin' excited I am... I'm literally bouncing in my seat as I type this!

The flash mob dance we have planned to surprise the masses is complete with a menagerie of MJ moves, dance moves from Footloose, and our own stuff to Queen's We Will Rock You. [Disclaimer: don't worry, I'm sure most of the northern Colorado community doesn't read my blog, so the secret isn't out until we bust our moves...]

Ummm, can I tell you about my outfit?!?! [Insert teenage girl squeal here.] So, I'm not exactly in looooove with some of the 80s trends that are returning to fashion (shoulder pads?? gross), but I am seriously digging the neon. My outfit for this par-tay is giving me hardcore nostalgia... rubber neon bracelets, neon pink hoop earrings, leggings, leg warmers, off-the-shoulder top with neon splatter paint all over it... those were the days! I was mesmerized by all the neon accessories at Claire's the other night. I think I freaked out the store clerk with all my giggling and excited muttering, lol!

Polyvore

I know I leave you all hanging with my lack of personal photos most of the time, and you're always asking for dance vids which I never deliver... BUT we have film crews for the flash mob shenanigans and rumor has it that it will be posted up on YouTube. So have no fear, I will be rockin' MJ's moves in all my neon glory for all the interwebs to see... stay tuned...

xoxo
J

Avon calling!

2010-05-18T12:48:00.027-06:00

Say hello to the newest addition to the Avon Sale Rep ranks!

In an effort to get myself out of the hot financial mess I'm in, I finally decided on Avon as my second job. I considered other things... retail, waiting tables, babysitting/nannying... but Avon will fit best alongside my 9-to-5, since it's flexible and I set my own hours. I know that this means I have to be disciplined about expanding my business so I actually earn an income, that it's not going to just fall into my lap... but I'm not worried. I'm rather excited about this new adventure, so I don't think it will be an issue. Aaaaand, thinking ahead, if I can transition to doing this as my primary source of income before I venture out in the big world of dance, I will be thrilled. It's certain that I will be like most dancers and will need a job in addition to any dance work that I do, since the majority of dancers can't support themselves on their dance career alone (at least not when first starting out). Why not make it something I enjoy??

Once I figure out how to get a button or link permanently afixed to my blog, please come visit my online store! In the meantime, here's the link: Jessi's Avon. If you are interested in checking out Avon or Mark and don't already have an established relationship with your own Avon lady (or gentleman, I'm sure they exist), I'd love your business and support! I sent out the big email yesterday to people in my contacts (some of you are included in that list, so you should be getting an email) announcing the "grand opening" of my new Avon business. I love this feature... it will allow me to build my customer-base beyond where I live. That means my friend in Wisconsin can be my regular customer even though we live states away from each other. God bless the Internet.

Oh, and P.S... Avon is not just for the ladies! There is men's fragrance and gifts, and products and gifts for kids and teens.

So yeah, suddenly I'm a business gal! I'm thinking about marketing, customers, a home office, how on earth to organize all the brochures and samples so they don't overrun my house... the whole nine yards. If any seasoned business men or women have any entrepreneurial advice for this newbie, I'm all ears! I get overwhelmed thinking about all the details, but I'm so excited at the same time.

xoxo

Moving right along

2010-05-10T13:45:00.008-06:00

Busy, busy 'round here at Better Late Than Never, wrapping up the semester and planning my summer.

My leg is getting better and better... I danced in the final concert of the semester, which was last weekend. It felt so great to dance again. The leg is not 100% recovered - getting to 100% is going to take a little while longer - but it's getting strong and more bendy with each passing day.

My heart is also getting better with each passing day. Dancing again, along with the amazing support of friends and family, is reviving my spirit.

The money situation is still no bueno, but I'm still working on a game plan... seeking help with some financial pros, applying for scholarships... things are still very high up in the air, but I'm not quite as freaked out about it. What will be will be.

Sorry this is so short and sweet, but work beckons... Happy Monday!

xoxo
J

As it goes

2010-04-27T14:18:00.022-06:00

Disclaimer: this is not the happiest of posts, which I apologize for. But I'm not the happiest of girls right now, either. So, I guess read along if you don't mind a sad post for today...

Sorry for going MIA last week... it was a long week. It's only been two weeks since the break-up, but it feels like it's been much, much longer. As it goes.

I can honestly say I'm doing okay considering. I had my moments and days last week when I was honestly doing okay, too. But at random moments, without warning, I come apart and the tears flow at their own will. As it goes.

There is no communication between me and the now ex-BF, at least for awhile. Time and space to heal is important. Maybe we can be friends down the road, I hope we can... only time will tell. As it goes.

When it rains, it definitely pours... last week a part of my tooth broke off, so I got to make an emergency visit to the dentist for a crown. Sans insurance, much anxiety and $900 later. As it goes.

My future is completely up in the air. I have some serious, big decisions to make in the next week or two. I'm out of money... I'm no longer eligible for student loans (because this is my second bachelor's and I used 'em for my first) and I qualify for so few scholarships and free aid (again, because this is my second bachelor's). I'm currently trying to pay off several, several grand from last semester's tuition, but I'm not making much headway, and I'm getting very (scarily) behind with all my other debts because of it. Honestly, I'm not sure if I'll be finishing my final two semesters. Things are grim. And the tears begin again... as it goes.

(Compliments of We Heart It)

A bit of silver lining... my hamstring is getting better and stronger a little each day. I'm dancing a little, and last Friday was my first day back to ballet class. I did basic, baby stuff, but it felt so good to move and be in my tights and leotards again. I can't believe I'm saying that (I have a love-hate with leos...). I'm also back to my Tae-Bo workouts, albeit modified to be gimp-style :)

The healing hammy is a good thing for sure, but I'm not sure how much it actually makes me feel better, knowing I might not be dancing and continuing my training here soon. Nothing is set it stone yet and there is still so much up in the air, but reality is reality and I have to accept it. But wow, does it suck sweaty leotards. Really.

As it goes.

(Oh, P.S... Thank you for all of your supportive comments to my last post... they truly meant so much to me... it's so crazy to feel loved by people I've never met before, and may never meet, but it's so heartwarming. I'm very grateful for each and every comment, thought and prayer...)

xoxo
J

Hamstrings and heartache

2010-04-15T14:04:00.028-06:00

Healing and recovery is moving right along with the hammy. It's hella slow, but it is getting better a little each day.

I saw the PT on Tuesday morning and this is the latest scoop... the second dance concert of the semester is next week. Last week I was quite confident that my leg would be ready to start dancing, but my PT has other ideas. She told me that hamstring injuries take 4-6 weeks to heal, and that's only healing time. Rehabbing to get back to where I was pre-injury is after that. Next week is only Injury Week 4. So. No dancing for me yet.

Putting it in numbers helps me wrap my head around it and have a better idea what's going on when. Much better than where I was last week, when things were still up in the air and I couldn't tell anyone anything more than "I don't know" and "maybe" when they asked me when I'll start dancing and if I'll perform in the next concert. Having a time line to work within works much better for me. The PT gave me more exercises to start adding to my daily regimen, and I'm just plugging away at those.

I'm being patient out of necessity, but it's not easy. Because of an unexpected (read: unwelcome) change in my life, which I will get to in a minute, sitting around is getting even harder. And there is so much dance that I'm missing... ballet placement auditions for next year, Tour Dance Company auditions for next year, Tour performances (today is our last, *sigh*)... I have been attending rehearsals for the remaining concerts, taking notes and starting to "mark" the choreography (which means just walking through movement) to make sure I don't forget it. The PT thinks I will be good to go for the final concert of the semester, which will be Injury Week 6. Fingers crossed.

I've been putting off writing this next business all week... reading my last post, last weekend I was truly happy and had a renewed feeling of "life is good!" The weather is getting warmer, my leg is healing and I just felt good. The BF and I had fun weekend plans... the day in Denver together? Well, it didn't happen.

The BF and I broke up. I don't even know how the break-up conversation got started. As planned on Saturday night, we had dinner, watched a movie and then we started talking... and then 4 or 5 hours later, we were no longer.

(source: We Heart It)

What it boils down to is we are not on the same page emotionally. I have stronger feelings for him than he has for me, and he doesn't think its fair to me to continue in the relationship. It hurts like hell and I just can't wrap my head around this, but what do you say to that?? I mean, you can't make someone love you.

It was so unexpected. We were happy. Nothing was wrong. Neither of us did anything wrong. In a way, that makes it hurt worse. Everything was fine, we were happy! We care about each other, have feelings for each other... mine are just stronger.

Oh friends....

xoxo
J

Oh lovely Saturday!!

2010-04-10T12:54:00.013-06:00

It's amazing what a good night's sleep, sans bad dreams, does for a girl! I woke up today feeling like a normal human being again - so relieved!

Although, really, I started feeling better last night once I was home and had some me-time... I picked up a healthy dinner from Whole Paycheck... er, Whole Foods... got a bottle of vino, and picked up a couple of those dance movies I listed in my last post. I ended up renting Mad Hot Ballroom and All That Jazz.

Mad Hot Ballroom was so good! It's about a ballroom dance program that New York Public Schools started in 1994, and eventually became a normal part of the schools' curricula. 11- and 12-year-olds learn different ballroom dances... foxtrot, tango, merengue, rumba, swing... and then compete against other schools. Some of the kids struggle with self-esteem, behavioral issues, etc., until participating in the dance program, after which teachers and principals see significant changes for the better. A teacher at one school talked about one boy whom she felt was undoubtedly headed towards life as a thug on the street, but his path completely shifted after participating in the program and now he is a role model and leader to other students at his school. I highly recommend this movie!

All That Jazz wasn't all I hoped it would be... it tells the life story of Bob Fosse, American choreographer, and his womanizing love-affairs and drug addiction along the way. Besides a couple cool dance scenes, it wasn't very good at all. In fact, I kept thinking to myself how weird it was and it didn't keep my attention - I kept fast forwarding through and finally just turned it off. Disappointing, because I love Fosse-style jazz and was very interested in learning more about him. I guess I'll just read Wikipedia. Lame.

Next time I think I'll rent The Turning Point... Mikhail Baryshnikov never disappoints!... and I really, really want find B-Girl. The girl at the video store looked it up for me, and there are no copies in Colorado at all, and Amazon only has three in stock. I might have to rely on TV Shack for that flick.

Enough of my movie reviews... on to my weekend! The rest of my afternoon entails a trip to the store, painting my nails, reading outside in the sun and then whipping up a delectable dinner for the BF and I... pork roast, twice-baked potatoes, artichokes with garlic butter, wine... mmmm... Tomorrow he and I are heading down to Denver to spend the day shopping, perhaps coffee at a cafe, walking around downtown... just spending some quality time together. I've been looking forward to it all week!

What does your weekend have in store??

Have a lovely weekend!!

xoxo
J

The wrong side of the bed

2010-04-09T17:25:00.015-06:00

Even though it's Friday and I should be doing a li'l happy-dance and planning all kinds of Friday night shenanigans, I'm in the worst mood of all time today, so no dice. Nothing in particular happened, I just slept horribly last night and had bad dreams, and woke up on the complete wrong side of the bed. It was one of those craptastic days where you want to sleep through it until tomorrow the moment you wake up.

This is how I'd like my Friday night to look: pick up dinner, along with a dance movie or two, get into my sweats in 1.3 seconds upon entering my house and park it on the couch until bedtime, at which time I will simply move myself to bed, pass out and hopefully wake up in a normal, happy mood tomorrow. I'm looking forward to my weekend, so the sooner I can get to Saturday, the better.

So that's what I'm going to do. I will be searching for these dance flicks at my local video store...

Some things to inspire mama, 'cause mama needs a pick-me-up.

Hope you all have a fab Friday night, and Happy Weekend!!

xoxo
J

Student Dance Concert, check!

2010-04-07T16:49:00.023-06:00

The concert went great!! After a hot mess of a dress rehearsal Thursday night, both Friday and Saturday's shows were stellar. There is an adage in the dance world that says a horrible dress rehearsal means a great show, and I'm so glad it held true. Feedback from many people was that it was one of the best concerts they've seen at CSU! Yay!!

As promised, here are some pictures from the weekend. First, some outfit pics. S and I introduced the show each night, so we got all dolled up for our speech...

Friday night... no injury was going to keep me from rockin' the boots and LBD!

Saturday night... sunshiney happiness for S and another LBD for me

I heart my LBD from H&M

Not sure if you can see in the second or third pic, but yes, we are wearing tiaras...

One of the dancers gave S and I Easter baskets filled with candy and all kinds of other fun stuff, including our "SDC Director" tiaras... so fun!! I wore it alllllll night :)

The giver of the tiaras

Can't forget the quintessential locker room picture...

Me with the lovely J

Of course, if I wasn't a gimp I would have pics of me in fun dance outfits and me actually dancing. Next time...

Update on the hammy... it still bothers me, but the initial scary pain is gone and I'm finally walking normally. It's a slow process, though, and you'd be surprised how many basic, everyday movements require a healthy hammy... um, picking something up off the floor? Getting into the car? Putting on pants?? Sheesh! At this point it bothers me most when I'm sitting at work or in the car. That seems strange, but the injury is near my sit bone (in the butt region), so it's not surprising. I've started alternating heat with ice, and still on ibuprofen for inflammation. My PT gave me a couple new exercises, that are supposed to strengthen the area. But this doesn't mean they are weight bearing or anything... they are very simple exercises that suddenly aren't so easy. I'm still not dancing this week and I don't know yet when I can start transitioning back to it. I have an appointment with the PT next Tuesday, so she'll reassess where I'm at then.

I'm getting really antsy with not being able to do anything. It's funny how quickly your attitude changes once you can't do something... before the injury, I would sometimes whine about how tired or sore I was, secretly wishing for a class or rehearsal to be canceled so I could park it on the couch. Now I'm hyper aware of everyone who can do anything physical... watching my peers in rehearsal, people running or biking as I drive around town, my BF going to the gym... it sucks. So yeah, lesson learned to be grateful each day for the ability to dance in class or rehearsal. You never know when it will be taken away, even in a temporary situation like this.

xoxo
J

It's only one show

2010-04-02T15:53:00.009-06:00

So, I finally came to terms with my decision to not dance in this concert. After dozens of conversations with friends, classmates, professors and the BF, and a solid crying session, I know that it's going to be okay and it isn't the end of the world to miss this one concert. It is just one concert.

Yes, some people are disappointed that I won't be dancing, but I can't compromise my body and career for the sake of trying to make everyone happy. That would be silly. And my leg doesn't even feel that much better. In fact, for whatever reason, it hurts more than it did yesterday... so obviously, it's telling me to chill and just be director tonight.

And I have wonderful people - my mom, my BFF, my man - who are still just as excited to come see and support the show that I helped put together, even though I won't be onstage. That means the world to me. My BF always says these sweet little things that touch me... this time it was "it's okay babe, I will be imagining you onstage." He's great. So are all of you and your comments, so thank you so much for the comment love to my previous post!!!

So, here's to one rockin' show tonight and tomorrow! I will try to snag the pics from our photo shoot last weekend and post a couple for you all sometime this weekend.

Happy Easter!!

xoxo
J

My head and tummy are the least of my concerns now

2010-03-31T20:23:00.016-06:00

The last thing a dancer wants to hear or feel is "pop".

Last night I was rehearsing one of the pieces I'm in for the concert. Determined to get my leg high and straight, that's the exact sensation I felt at the top of my kick. My immediate thought: "oh shit."

Oh shit is right. The pop was followed by a burning sensation that traveled down my leg. I pulled my hamstring.

The next 24 hours leading up until now have been filled with lots of tears, ibuprofen, ice packs and consults with physical therapists. I'm not sure yet what's going to happen for the shows on Friday and Saturday, but at this point, I can only bend my knee far enough to lift my foot about 8 inches off the ground. That doesn't bode well for high extension kicks and splits.

The thought of not performing this weekend kills me. It's the first concert where I made it into more than one or two pieces, and some of them are fierce. Not only that, but it's my Student Concert, I'm co-directing!! And then I feel guilty for my friends and family who are paying for tickets to see me, but might not get to see me. UGH.

I could push through it. I could make it through Friday and Saturday and then take weeks off afterwards to heal and rehab... but that's risky with a hamstring. One of the PT's I talked to today told me that hamstring pulls that aren't healed properly and sufficiently are highly prone to reinjury, and reinjuries are worse than the initial injury. Which then sets you up for chronic problems... which is something to seriously consider when thinking of my career in the big picture. And my pull isn't in the belly of the muscle... it's high at it's insertion point, in my bum region. Meaning I can't wrap it and meaning the pull (tear?? I don't really know without an MRI) is in the tendon, not just the muscle. If you're not familiar with anatomical stuff, just trust me that that isn't good. I could push through. But at what cost???

I know in my heart the right thing to do... I know there will be more dance concerts and performances and that this isn't the end of my career. But when you get attached to something, it is so hard letting go...

xoxo
J

Tummy aches and headaches

2010-03-30T12:39:00.011-06:00

Spring Break ended and crap hit the fan the first day back at school last week. The Student Dance Concert opens this weekend, and guess who is a student director? Moi. My partner in directing crime, S, and I have been scrambling since last week to get this show on the road...

We suddenly had showings for the technical crew, press releases to send out, choreographer's to track down for program information and copies of their music, grueling 14-hours of rehearsal over the weekend, photos to take, master cd's to put together for the sound crew, reporters to contact, posters to create and print, technical rehearsals... and the list continues... choreographers are asking us for anything and everything... "Can you cut my music for me?" Um, seriously?? That's not my job!

I'm exhausted on every level. I'm a newbie director and most of the logistics I've had to figure out as I go, which I hate. I'm an easily stressed person to begin with, so disorganization and chaos do not do good things to me... I've had an ongoing headache since last week, my stomach is not functioning normally at all, and of course an angry little cold sore popped out on my lip last week. Pretty. I'm staying afloat purely by the support of my amazing co-director S, my BF (who keeps telling me that this is going to be the most successful Student Dance Concert of all time - thanks babe!), and the dancers who keep telling S and I that we're doing great.

Despite feeling like I've been hit by a truck multiple times, things are coming together and the show is solid. I am very excited for the concert itself - there are so many great pieces, including a sassy, sexy jazz number which I get to dance in. And a Michael Jackson tribute. I choreographed a piece, of course, and I'm quite pleased with it.

I woke up this morning convinced it was Friday. And the night before I had a dream that I went on stage without a top on, but didn't notice until a friend pointed it out to me when I came offstage. Um, this concert is not that kind of show. A bit of anxiety, perhaps??

Yes, it will all come together and everything will work out in the end - it always does - but I will be very happy when Sunday rolls around. Not that I don't have many more things on my plate after the show is over, but I'm very ready for my body to get back to normal...

xoxo
J

Wait, I have nothing to do?? Unheard of!

2010-03-19T17:34:00.007-06:00

Wow, I have no plans this weekend, minus the usual Sunday lineup of dance rehearsals - this rarely happens!

I was supposed to be heading up to the mountains tonight to shoot a friends' movie throughout the weekend. But the recent spring snowstorm put a damper on that and forced us to cancel and reschedule. That's the way it goes in Colorado, the land of schizo weather. And now I have more time to polish my Civil War nurse acting skills... :)

So now what?? Without a schedule or agenda, I'm not quite sure what to do with myself... maybe the BF will feel up to going to the movies? I've been waiting to see Alice in Wonderland... and one of my fave Hollywood hotties, Gerard Butler, shows up on the big screen with Jennifer Aniston (a hottie in her own right) in The Bounty Hunter.

(I wouldn't mind being in her shoes...)

Other than movies, there might be some sleeping in, some magazine perusing... the lazy possibilities are endless! 'Cause come Monday, Spring Break is over and it's back to our regularly scheduled program...

Happy weekend, everyone!

xoxo
J

Springtime

2010-03-18T14:23:00.009-06:00

T-minus 2 days until it is officially Spring!! The weather here has been fabulous this week, very springy... but in typical Colorado fashion, another snowstorm is on it's way tonight and tomorrow. But it's okay! I can handle it! I'm not going to freak out with an I-hate-winter temper tantrum, lol! The snow is more tolerable in the spring... it doesn't stick around as long, we get a few warm days here and there that start breaking up the monotony of snow and cold.

This week is Spring Break. I've spent my time working and taking care of the BF, who had knee surgery last Thursday. He tore his ACL, among other things, playing soccer last summer, and finally got it all fixed up. He is doing great and recovering well, but was stuck in bed most of the week, so I assumed the role of domestic goddess for him... cooking, laundry, "nursing" (which really just meant changing his ice packs, popping in movies and reminding him to take his pain drugs... said drugs made him a bit loopy). He's up and slowly walking around now... and very determined to recover as soon as possible! He was such a good patient... and recovered much better from surgery than I did when I had wrist surgery a couple years ago (soccer breaks you). Anesthesia + Jessi = post-surgery puking. Fun times.

No dancing this week, but I've been doing my Tae Bo videos to keep moving. Billy Blanks is my hero, I swear. I'm starting to get antsy to get back to classes and rehearsals, though. Operation "Get My Chicago Legs Back" must be resumed - shorts/skirts/bikini weather is coming! [For those who weren't with me last summer, I attended a dance intensive last July in Chicago with Deeply Rooted Dance Productions, and while the overall experience went much deeper than how my body looked, I was rather pleased with the appearance of my legs after those four weeks...]

With the spring thaw comes a simultaneous creativity thaw for me... ideas and projects have resurfaced (remember this post?), new inspirations and ideas are forming... in general I'm starting to feel The Buzz stirring inside me... and it feels so good after a long, cold winter of nothing. There are things to do, business to take care of, places to see, adventures to be had...!!

Game on, Spring. Game on!!

xoxo
J

I'm aliiiiiive!!

2010-03-08T16:57:00.006-07:00

Well, I survived the February Funk and am happily scootin' right along into March... thank you all so much for your concerned comments and emails checking in on me!!

I wanted to blog all last week, mostly about how the sunshiny, springy weather was making me all crazy-in-love, but alas, work and school kept me from Blogland. And this time work and school really are the reasons for my lack of blogging, not a depressed funk, lol!

Dance news to come... in the meantime, hope you're all doing fab!!

xoxo J

Blah. Schmeh. Where the eff is spring?!?

2010-02-18T12:58:00.012-07:00

The last home stretch of winter blooooooows... I'm very sorry to all my bloggy and real-life chums who have birthdays in February, but February and I are not friends. Every year I struggle to get through this month. Despite it being only 28 days long (and the occasional 29), it drags on and on and on and on and on and.... if I ever get annual vacation time ('cause who knows what my dance career will be like), I think February is the month to use it. Too bad Spring Break isn't in February. I'm starting to lose my sanity just a wee bit. Or a lot.

Hence my absence from the blogosphere. I think I've used a handful of excuses over the last few weeks... I'm busy, I don't have Internet at home (yup, still)... but really I think its my blues. Last week a post idea popped into my head, but I didn't even have the desire to sit down and write it out. I'm lame, I know. But I just can't write if I'm not inspired. And I think I've avoided posting because I don't want my posts to be all negative-Nancy all the time. Who wants to read daily posts like that?? I am reading all of your blogs, ninja style... you can't see me, but I'm there...

It's not just affecting my blogging, either... I avoid being at home because it gets hella lonely out in suburbia-ville, especially with no TV or Internet filling in as faux-company. I miss my student housing apartment where I could just go down to the lobby if I needed to see people. I have a HUGE tuition bill to pay off so I can continue and finish my degree (ugh, another long story, maybe another blog post?), so I'm effing broke. I feel very un-pretty these days. As in I'm comparing myself to other gals to a very unhealthy degree and when I look in the mirror at myself my immediate thought is "gross". Some days I think that my BF is going to decide that some other girl is prettier than me and run off with her. And I feel like I'm getting worse at dance and I should quit while I'm ahead.... uh, what?? Yeah, all of it is totally ridiculous, but the blues cause some pretty stupid shit to go through my head.

I'm trying to be positive and put on a happy face, but some days it just feels way too fake. And I'm not a good liar.

Please bear with me as I wait out this last stretch of winter... I will pop in here and there, but it may be on the quiet side for a bit longer...

xoxo
J

Just like washing your car means it will rain...

2010-02-08T18:03:00.009-07:00

... complaining about the snow and cold means it will snow. I woke up to the white stuff coming down yesterday, and it's continued off and on since then. Gross.

So I've been daydreaming of the Caribbean, Hawaii and the Mediterranean all day, hoping my thoughts of these sunny, beachy places will warm me up even a little bit...

I can hear the calypso music now...

Aloha!

Greece? Yes please!

A girl can dream, right??

xoxo
J

Random stuff and an award

2010-02-06T16:57:00.019-07:00

Wow, the blog inspiration is just nowhere to be found these days... I don't know if it's my mid-winter doldrums or my busy-ness, or some combination of the two, but my mind has been blank when it's come to my blog as of late. I know I've promised a new weekly feature, and while I haven't jumped ship on it, I'm just not inspired yet. My creative intuition tells me it's still brewing and it will show up when it's ready...

I'm adjusting to no Internet at home... I either stay later at the office or the school computer lab to get my email/Twitter/Facebook fix, and when I'm at home, I'm finding other [more productive] projects... for example, I'm finally reading the Coco Chanel biography my wonderful BF gave me for my birthday (which was in, um, December). I've been feeling the cooking bug biting, so there shall be some culinary masterpieces here soon, mwah ha ha! And boxes of clothes, paperwork, and filing are beckoning me from the basement... I suspect some serious spring cleaning in my future! I do miss my shows... The Today Show, Food Network, What Not to Wear, Keeping up with the Kardashians (my guilty pleasure), Sex and the City reruns, Grey's Anatomy... but friends are coming to my rescue by inviting me over and there's always TV Shack and Hulu at the computer lab if I'm desperate...

Ugh, I'm so over winter and cold and snow and grey skies and colorless everything. Just about now is when I typically start itching for a vacay, somewhere warm, sunny and involving a beach. I've never made this fantasy reality - yet! - and I don't foresee it coming to fruition until after I'm a college student. And the more winters I go through unhappily, the more I wonder if said sunny, beachy vacation fantasies should be upgraded to future potential places to call home. Seriously. I need to keep this in mind when embarking upon my dance career, post-school...

And now to my very overdue blog awards! Well, it's really the same award from two lovely blogging gals, Melanie and Selma. I promised them last weekend that I'd repost their award "tomorrow", which was last Monday. I'm sorry ladies!!! I hope you forgive me :)

First off, THANK YOU to Melanie and Selma for passing this award on to me!! I'm always flattered when I get an award, as I just go about my business here in Blog Land, not assuming anything special about my li'l blog corner.

Part of receiving the award is to list 10 random things about me...

1. I adore the sun and warm weather.
2. I believe I'm a misplaced soul in that I was born in the wrong part of the world.
3. Retail therapy absolutely works on me.
4. The ASPCA commercials, the ones with Sarah McLachlan singing in them, make me cry. They make me want to adopt every single animal from every single shelter...
5. I have Chanel taste on a Walmart budget.
6. I have never traveled out of the country... this will change in the next 5 years, believe me.
7. I'm slightly germ-phobic. Not to the point of being OCD about it, but enough to say I have a "phobia".
8. I talk to myself... and when I catch myself doing it in the car, I pretend I'm singing so the other drivers don't think I'm weird, ha!
9. I'm very brand-loyal, sometimes to the point of ridiculousness. Nike. The North Face. Crest. Korres.
10. I want to be fluent in other languages... French, Italian, Russian, Greek, for example...

God, it's harder to think of 10 random things than it sounds. I've been given this award before, so I apologize if any of these are redundant!

Well, time to leave and head to the laundromat. A little nervous, considering #7 above, but there's a laundromat in town that I just found out about that seems all new and hip and clean and shiny... they even serve coffee from the 'Bucks! Their website makes it seem promising...

Happy Weekend everyone!!

xoxo
J

Fare thee well, my love... until we meet again...

2010-01-31T20:50:00.004-07:00

My love being the weekend, of course. Another Monday and another week are upon us... le sigh...

BUT!

Today was marvelous! I think Sundays are my new favorite days. I was concerned about them being long and tiring, as I have four rehearsals, and three of the four are back-to-back to each other, but now that I'm apres-rehearsal, I am in love with Sundays!! Why, you ask?? Two of my rehearsals involve some sexy, sassy jazz and I am LOVING it. Just what the doctor ordered (remember this post?). I love what I'm learning in ballet and modern, but sometimes a girl just needs to get in touch with her inner sass-a-frass!

Time to tear myself away from the school computer lab and head home. Hope your weekends were lovely!!

xoxo
J

Long time no see!

2010-01-30T16:51:00.025-07:00

What a whirlwind of 2 weeks it has been! And the semester is only getting started... classes, auditions, rehearsals, jobs, homework... that's just the general summary. I won't bore you with details, but just trust me when I say I'm not really sure what day it is sometimes.

But I'm not complaining - things are good! I made it into so many pieces for the semester's concerts, and I'm tickled pink about it. The BF seemed a bit concerned when I told him how many I'll be dancing in, for my time and sanity, but it is so hard saying no to what I love.

There are some new problems on the horizon, as usual... wouldn't be life without them, right? Money, tuition, financial aid... ugh, the things that stress me out most in life. But I just have to roll with it and get creative. Pouting and stomping my feet won't help much.

I'm choreographing for the Student Dance Concert again, of course. This is the song I used to audition my dancers:

The BF introduced me to the composer, Konstantinos Vita (Dimitris Papaioannou is a choreographer and this video includes excerpts from his show "Two", which K. Vita composed for). I want to supplement it with another of his songs, maybe this one...

I haven't quite decided yet. There are a couple others of his that I really like, but I just don't know. I have a feeling my indecisiveness is because I still haven't decided on my theme yet. I struggle to choreograph simply for the sake of movement - I need some theme or concept to inspire me - and picking music is influenced by my theme, too. My first rehearsal is tomorrow, so the clock is ticking...

I guess that means I should get off the computer and start moving then, right??

Happy weekend!
xoxo J

[P.S. Glad to be back in Blog Land! Sorry to go missing all of a sudden... school starting plus living in the Land of No Internet has made it a bit challenging...]

Who am I kidding?!?!?

2010-01-20T10:41:00.009-07:00

Yeah, no internet at home is no bueno. It sucks.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that I also have no cable... um, yeah. Not that I watch a ton of TV, especially with school starting back up, but I feel like I'm living in the dark ages, far, far away from civilization. *Le sigh*

xoxo
J

Unplugged

2010-01-19T17:01:00.008-07:00

So, my new digs are great... love living alone, love having a dishwasher, LOVE having a garage (no scraping ice in la manana, boo-ya!)... BUT. And there's always a big but getting all up in your business, isn't there?? I have no Internet.

[gasp!]

I know! The travesty. No longer can I waste copious amounts of time dorking around on the interwebs as if I have nothing else to do when I get home at night, wake up in the morning, and every other second I can spare. It's amazing how addicted I am to the 'net... email, Twitter, Facebook, the blog, all your blogs, the weather, TV Shack, my bank account, Sephora, We Heart It... omg, the list is never-ending...!

It's good to be unplugged to some extent, I think... hot diggety, I'm actually reading! Who'da thunk it?! And I just might get to some projects I've been "meaning to get to" since the beginning of time. You know, the dance portfolio, the big scary filing project, writing...

It is rather annoying, though. And sometimes inconvenient. I'm looking into getting me plugged in, but then there's the concern of paying yet another monthly bill...

In other news... I started the spring semester today. Zero-to-sixty in true fashion, wheeeeeee! I already have 101 things to do by the end of the week, but I'm not freaking out about it. I'm really glad to be back... I miss being a busy bee, I miss dancing, I miss creating, I miss how my muscles feel (and look!!) when dancing many, many hours a day, I missed the camaraderie of all of us dancers... god, I really love what I'm doing...

AND!!! Tomorrow is the first day of my "trial" ballet classes... getting nervous!!

Bisous!
J

(P.S. I'm still working on my new blog feature, but being unplugged is slowing the process down quite a bit... never fear, though, it will happen soon!)

Didn't get a "yes"... but it's not a solid "no", either

2010-01-15T13:35:00.017-07:00

Whoa. I'm not really sure what happened to this week, but I just realized I should probably fill you in on what my last, annoyingly ambiguous post was all about...

The ballet saga continues. For those who are new 'round here, let me quickly fill you in... ballet and I have a love-hate relationship, which I've recently come to realize is not really because of ballet itself, but because of my ballet classes at school. One aspect of this love-hate is the fact that I cannot seem to move up a level... now, on one hand, I haven't spent my life dancing ballet, so yes, I have lots to catch up on and learn. BUT. I don't suck so badly that I don't deserve to move up. It makes me crazy.

So my request on Tuesday (was it Tuesday? my week has been a huge blur, so much going on...) for your prayers, thoughts, crossed fingers and toes, etc. etc., had to do with my umpteenth request to the ballet professors to allow me to move up this semester.

The verdict: "we love your work ethic and passion, and we're very impressed with your progress... but we'd like to keep you in the same level because we are following a step-by-step syllabus and we feel it wouldn't be good for your technical training without preparing you properly... working hard can jump you ahead, of course, but the real issue is being exposed to the technical work..." [sigh]

That's the "no" half. Okay, I can't really disagree with this argument. It's logical and she's right. But what I struggle with, semester after semester, is that the class I'm stuck in gets to a certain point in the syllabus, but then starts completely over at the start of a new semester. Which is great for people taking the class for the first time, but for me, notsomuch. I get to the same place each semester, but no farther. I'm only learning so much!! Working on the basics over and over again is important, sure, but so is challenge... to grow and to prevent from plateauing!!

But the "no" isn't set in stone: "... I am always willing to be proven wrong... you may come try my class next week so I can make an assessment and then we can discuss it further..."

Well well! So, yes, I am disappointed and frustrated with the "no" part, but am happy she is giving me a chance to try to change her answer. It's better than a definite, solid no.

So thank you for your thoughts and doing your dances to the dance gods! It might not have been a yes, but it helped give me a little window of opportunity :)

I'm so glad it's Friday, y'all! Anyone else?? It was one of those weeks where I felt like it was Friday on Wednesday... and then again yesterday... no bueno! I have some dance to do, dance to see, help the BF move (another move, oy!) and a bunch of other things... happy weekend!!

Bisous!
J

(photos via We Heart It)

Pray, meditate, cross your fingers...

2010-01-12T13:53:00.003-07:00

... or whatever it is that you do... I need a "yes" to something very badly... I don't want to say much right now, for I'm a bit superstitious and I don't want to jinx myself... I will give you all the deets later, I promise, cross my heart... but seriously... pray, meditate, cross your fingers...

xoxo
J

On the tail end of moving and a big THANK YOU!

2010-01-11T13:34:00.007-07:00

Hey all... After a tiring weekend of packing and moving, I'm almost there! I'm leaving work early (here in a few minutes) to go clean the old digs and turn in my keys. Kinda sad, but my new digs are sweet!! Things are a mess and there are boxes everywhere... this morning I couldn't find my shoes and had to search for my undies, but don't worry, I found them, so no commando today, lol!... but it will get organized sooner or later. Hopefully sooner, because I can't do an underwear hunt every morning, ha!

I'm excited to organize my bedroom furniture and decorate it all snazzy. I also get a bathroom to play with. I never really got around to that in my old digs, but I definitely want my rooms to reflect me and my personality. I'm all over the 'net looking for inspiriting photos... that'll be another post in the next day or so.

And THANK YOU for all your suggestions on a new Better Late Than Never feature! I love all your suggestions! I might do as Kristin suggested and do more than one! I'll be doing something thinking and mental organizing this week, and get back to you with what I decide. And I'm still open to suggestion, so check out this post to leave more comments.

Ooo-wee... a new place to live, new stuff on the blog... exciting, fun stuff up in this joint!

xoxo J

Let's brainstorm

2010-01-08T16:24:00.010-07:00

So, I have a new project that I'd like your help with!

I've been thinking of ways to spice up my blog a bit, and I think I'm leaning towards doing a regular feature, kinda like Summer's Fashion Fridays, Erika's Thrifty Thursdays or Maegan's Completely Gratuitous Outfit Posts. I've never felt that something fashion-related fits my blog 100% (nor do I feel anywhere near the fashion league of these lovely ladies!). I've been racking my brain trying to come up with something witty and clever that's related to dance, but no dice so far... so that's where you come in!

Some ideas I've come up with so far... "Dance-Inspired Fashion", but not sure how many unique outfits I could actually come up with... "Wisdom from the Studio", like little life-lessons I've learned from my dance adventures [but do I really have anything to say??]... "a dancer's health/fitness tips"... I've thought of others, but I'm drawing a blank now...

Yeah, I'm second-guessing most of my ideas so far... so then I thought, why not ask my readers? What would you all like to see here? What do you want to know more about??

Oh, and what will make this even more fun, is I'm buying a camera - finally!!! - with my Christmas money, so I can finally post pics and maybe a vlog! Hot diggety, I'm finally catching up with the rest of the blog world! LOL.

So. Give me your ideas, suggestions, requests, anything and everything, the sky's the limit... ready, set, GO!

xoxo
J

Inspiration

2010-01-05T17:00:00.014-07:00

photos via we heart it

xoxo
J

First big change of 2010: new digs!

2010-01-04T16:55:00.007-07:00

I'm moving this next weekend! This has been in the works for about a month now, but I kinda forgot to mention it. Nothing bad happened at my current place, I just got offered a good deal that would have been stupid to pass up.

The lowdown: my school adviser, who is from Taiwan, is leaving for sabbatical in Taiwan for the spring and summer. He just bought a townhouse and would like someone to watch it while he's gone for eight months. So he offered for me to live there... rent will be $125 less than what I'm paying now, so there's where I couldn't pass it up. Mama is b-r-o-k-e and needs all the help she can get!

(Photo courtesy of We Heart It)

I'm sad to leave my current place... I like my apartment and I love living with international students (I live in University housing where mostly international students live, with the occasional culture-hungry American like me, lol). I've met some cool people here from all over the world, including my BF. But like I said, the break on rent is something I need. And it will be nice to live by myself. My current roomie is fine and all, but I love living alone. Once you get past a certain age (30, ahem...), roommate living gets less and less appealing.

Have I started organizing and packing? No. Did I utilize the huge chunk of open time I had all weekend to pack?? Of course not. That's not my style. I rock the procrastination, y'all! And I seriously hate moving. I hate it. About as much as I hate celery, and I loathe that nasty veggie!

So tonight after work and after my Tae Bo workout (I heart Billy!) I will start the painful process of packing and organizing my stuff... accompanied by rockin' tunes, of course!

xoxo J

Resolutions

2010-01-01T22:54:00.016-07:00

I make resolutions but I don't get too attached to them. Not so I have an "easy way out" if I blow it, but because life is funny and will throw all sorts of shiz at you, so you have to be able to roll with it. Which means goals and resolutions are best made flexible with room for editing.

My list doesn't seem too long, but each one will take up plenty of my time.

My 2010 To-Do List

Jazz classes [see post from Monday].

Read more, watch less. I miss reading and I'm paranoid that my brain is turning into a pile of stupid mush with all the TV and movies I've watched lately. And it will inspire my imagination and creativity in other areas... writing, choreography...

WRITE. This includes blogging, journaling, playwriting, thank you notes (omg, I suck at these, my poor fam and friends)... all the writing projects in my head need to finally get down on paper... or, MS Word, more accurately.

Put together my dance portfolio, finally.

Organize my "important papers" filing system. 'Cause as of right now, there is no "system"...

Remind myself regularly that life is not all about me. I'm not the only one with feelings and dreams and a heart that can be broken.

Trust that God has some amazing shiz in store for me, I just have to keep trucking along with what he's given me...

There are a couple more, but they are a bit more personal so I'll keep those close to my heart. What is on your to-do list for 2010??

[Oooh, fun factoid... this is my 200th post! Love that it's on the first day of a new year and a new decade!]

xoxo
J

Short and sweet

2010-01-01T14:32:00.007-07:00

My first blog post for 2010! And it's totally short and sweet, lol... I'm still in a fog from going to bed at 5 this morning, even though it's almost 3 pm. New Year's Eve was fun. It was chill, nothing crazy, which is different than how I usually ring in the new year, but different is good. Gotta change it up from time to time. Ate some amazing food, kissed my BF at midnight and enjoyed meeting some of his friends. A good li'l party. And I looked cute, mwah ha ha!

Working on the resolution list. Slowly. I'll get back with y'all on that one a bit later... after more coffee - much more coffee - and probably a nap... Can't wait to hear what your resolutions are, lovies!

Happy 2010!!

xoxo
J